I would love to gather some opinions and advice in regards to a situation I am currently in. My wife and I (both in our mid-20’s), have been talking about going on a vacation very soon for months now, as COVID delayed any real hopes of travel last year. I know taking a vacation would mean the world to her, and on top of that, she has been hinting that she would like to go next month during her ovulation period (hint hint).

I was willing to book a flight and hotel for next month and I have been researching the last few days to solidify these plans, but I called my grandmother today who has been talking about visiting us this summer for some weeks now, and when speaking to her, I found out the days that she wishes to visit us would overlap with the days we wanted to take a vacation. My grandparents are very old, and I understand I have to cherish any time I can get with them (I’m from a Hispanic family where family tends to be very close), so I told my grandparents over the phone that I would have to see if I will be there those days, and left it at that for now.

What makes it even harder is that my grandparents specifically picked this timeframe to come because my parents are taking a trip with my younger siblings, and this, my grandparents will be free to not worry about watching the grandkids at all that week. I also do not have a good alternative to offer to them if I tell them I cannot be here when they wish to visit, and the thought of turning my grandparents down aches me, though perhaps this is just me being too nice.

I discussed this conversation I had with my grandparents to my wife, and she proceeded to say “never mind, don’t worry about it then,” which I tend to take as her being dismayed at the news, so I assured her I meant to take this vacation that we had been planning and I don’t want to go back on my word, but that I was struggling to outright tell my grandparents no without a solution that could alleviate the forced change of their plans. I understand that as a husband I have to make my wife my priority, and I intend to, so I guess what I need advice on is how to word my desires to my grandparents while also assuring my wife that I intend to take this trip (and have her believe me, without the “never mind then” mentality that she currently has). Any advice would be appreciated!