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My 34/m and wife 33/f, barely have a sex life, and I'm over it.
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NJScreenwriter is looking for a male
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The title says most of it. When we first met, we had sex like rabbits. 3 to 5 times a day. A month or so into the relationship, it went from that to once every 4 to 6 weeks. For no reason I can decipher.

We've been together for 9 years, married for almost 4, and this has become the bane of our existence. I do not believe marrying her was a mistake, but this sex issue is becoming glaring and I'm starting to become angry.

I've tried everything I can think of. Toys, counseling, romance, etc. She's just not into it. But she's an amazing woman and the thought of ending this is killing me... But I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I might have to.

I have a high sex drive. Hers is non existant. I'm convinced that if I never brought up sex again, she'd never think twice about it. So naturally, the sex itself isn't great because she just doesn't care. It's selfish and frustrating.

We've been fighting about it recently. I brought up the idea of a hall pass. Some of you reading this may think that's a raging asshole thought...but how ugly and unloved I feel sometimes from the lack of sex in my opinion is just as bad, if not worse. Naturally she was not about the idea. To me, it's just a solution to a problem. Whenever she has a problem, one way or the other, I solve it. This was nothing more than that for me. Men have different needs than some women, the thought was just to handle some physical needs she has no interest in handling.

When we went to counseling, she didn't realize how it made me feel despite having explained it numerous times. She said she understood it there. But not much has changed.

I'm going to ask her to go back to counseling or to maybe try a female libido enhancer or whatever. They seem to have medication for this. I honestly don't know.

It sucks to love someone this much and have an otherwise great life, but she has no interest in making sure my needs are met while I make sure she has everything she could want or need.

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a male
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Posted
5 years ago