My (29M) wife (27F) asked me to allow/ make our marriage open.(?) She wants to explore other possible connections with other people. More specifically for the emotion connection. This came about because she feels a connection with one her coworkers. As well as my work being so demanding that I really only get to spams time with her 1.5 days a week and can’t text during my 12-16 hour shifts. She has had both physical and mental medical issues causing sex to be “hard” to do more often than not. Sometimes any sort of physical stimulation to her vagina can actually be painful. For instance we haven’t had penetrative intercouse in 3 or 4 months now and other sexual acts are monthly at most. Which also causes her a lot of grief because our sex life used to be daily if not more! So she is hoping I would use this as a way of fulfilling my “Human sexual desires.” While talking we realized if she is poly truly and I’m ok with it then we can live a happy life together, if she doesn’t then we stop and still be happy, or the third and saddest option, she is poly and I do not like it. I agreed of course because of the 66% perent chance this works for us. But personally I go on tinder to feel out the possibility and immediately dislike it. I don’t have enough time for the one person I do love so how would I ever even have time for another? Plus let’s be realistic here. It’s not so simple to just “have sex” with random people. Let alone the fact I disliked every one night stand or fwb situation I have ever had the displeasure being apart of. I’m still trying my best to be open and communicate with her about my feelings but she has cried so much this week, feeling “broken” and “selfish” that I “deserve better”. I can’t make these very normal feelings any more of her reality while she explores herself. It’s what a husband should be doing god damn it. Who am I to not support the love of my life right? Yet on the bus rides home I have an emptiness deep inside me that consumes any other thoughts or feelings of joy I have when I’m not actively working and keeping my mind occupied. I just don’t know what to do and that scares the living shit out of me. What does anyone think? Also what sucks is I felt that connection between her and her coworker the first time I met him, I could see how much better they would be together than myself. If I remove personal feelings i know she deserves this and I can see the pain she has for not only feeling this but also not being able to act upon it as well. I just feel like I’m being snuffed. The only thing I get is being forced to learn to like it otherwise we have to get divorced