My wife and I have been married for 7 years together 15. She is a very conservative wife and can be described as extremely vanilla.

She has never been very sexually active but does enjoy sex on her terms. To combat this I often have to fend for myself and watch the odd bit of porn, nothing too sinister, generally just loving amateurs or home made videos.

To cut an extremely long story short, we were having an extremely dry patch between the sheets so I resorted to porn more regularly.

Stupidly I left my phone out with my browser open. To say my wife hit the roof was an understatement, she really went to town on me and didn’t speak to me properly for a few weeks. I explained the reasoning behind my porn use in an attempt to help make her understand but she still wasn’t happy. I asked if she would be interested in watching porn and She said it was disgusting, perverted and would never ever consider it as it was completely off the table.

Fast forward a few years to today, she asked me to look something up on her iPad, and what I found shocked me to the core. Whilst using her browser, i started typing and the predictive nature of the app started showing previously searched things. Curiosity got the better of me so I started searching her history and lo and behold she has been watching porn for years, basically the entirety of our relationship. More than that she has been searching for some pretty erotic stuff such as BBC, threesomes and all kinds of adventurous things.

I am over the initial shock of things, but I am too hurt to confront her about this. I don’t know what to think or say as the way she made me feel about porn usage appears to be completely contradicted by her own actions.

To realise your wife, who identifies as essentially asexual, has a raging sexual desire has broken me.

Interested to hear from others