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We all know that 50% of marriages end in divorce, and that two people can and will grow apart from each other if they don’t actively focus on growing together.
My wife and I have our own faults and know that who we are individually right now isn’t what’s best for ourselves, each other, and for our children. It’s been constant fighting, dead bedroom, and full on roommate stage for 2 years and we finally decided that it was best to separate.
Do we still love each other? Absolutely. Do we hate that we are here? 100%. Do we still believe in an “us”? Yeah, just not the “us” that we are right now.
Couples that did separate or divorced that ultimately found their way back to each other, how’d you do it? What happened? Why did you decide to choose your partner again?
I’m in my feelings right now and am a sucker for love, so I’m hoping some of you have a story to share that’ll give me some hope in my heart right now.
Thanks, random internet strangers.
Marriage counseling, we learned how to communicate and appreciate each other.
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We were all about keeping lists of grievances and reminding each other all the time. We could never validate the other persons feelings, if she expressed some issue with me I’d be like yeah ok but what about my grievances and vice verse. We read a book called “Getting the love you want” and we found a counselor who based her practice on the methods in the book. We learned how to listen and “mirror” back what the other is saying. Now instead of invalidated each other we say things like, “what I hear you saying….” and showing we heard what the other said. We also learned that when you focus on the good things the other does and telling them you appreciate it, it makes us want to do more and earn more appreciations.