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Mid 30âs. Have sex once a week if lucky. But multiple days a week we will have day long conversations through text about how horny we are and what we are going to do to each other that night. Fast forward to the night time, once we put the kids to bed my wife will say sheâs too tired, has a headache, doesnât feel good, âwould rather do it a day when I can preform my bestâ, and lots of other examples. This has been going on for about 7 years. I do not masturbate(my choice) or look at porn. I do not know what to do here can anyone please help or give me some advice? We have talked about the issue in depth in person many many times. And I always believe her when she says that she understands how hard it is for me to deal with and we will have more sex because she wants to have more sex too. But we donât. Kind of at the end of my rope here and would appreciate any advice you have. Just a little additional info:
I am in great physical shape, take care of my body and have very good hygiene. Same with her.
I am not interested in leaving my wife so please donât suggest that.
Youâre not doing too bad if youâre consistently getting it once a week. When you want more and youâre not getting it I know it can feel sucky. Maybe a change in approach might help? You said you donât masturbate⌠is there a particular reason for that? When my husband isnât particularly feeling it but Iâm wound up he will usually agree to mutual masturbation or just help me get off. This is a win for me and I am happy with this arrangement because it keeps sex top of mind which means Iâm getting some a lot more often lately anyway.
Yes, but worth noting my husband is also very willing to make changes to address things. The last 2 months have been the best theyâve ever been so we must be doing something right
My spouse was receptive to a change in approach, cause it was new and exciting so Iâm wondering if a subtle change would helpâŚ. Like maybe write out a story that describes what youâd like to do in the context of that story??
Tell her what youâre interested in⌠you start that conversation and maybe sheâll follow your lead
Maybe you could try being the one to be specific? Provide her with some inspiration?
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Iâll dm, itâs spicy đ