I(M28) have been married for almost 2 years now. And my wife (f23) does things that bother me and brining it up never seems to phase her. She'll call me name like Prick, P@#$y, B@#$&ch, Selfish, A-hole, etc. and I don't know where this comes from, I've never once name called her but it happens a few times a week usually at night or in the morning before she goes to work. We can have had such a wonderful thing and 1 little issue that might happen sets her off and it sucks. This morning I happen to be u pand she asked if I could find her some under garments. I looked for aha the asked for and found a few bras but strangely couldn't find the ones she normal wears for work and she got insanely upset. I even told her I looked and couldn't find them to which she replied "uh huh sure half ass everything selfish prick" which kinda hurt, and to be honest she's always been grumpy in the morning especially if I or the dog accidently wake her up at night.

She takes things really personal all the time and idk why she doesn't just let things go but it builds until she just explodes and even when it has nothing to do with what we are talking about she'll just toss it right in the conversation or argument and throw things sat me that we've already over come in our marriage.

Recently we swapped working hours with new jobs and she works from 3am to 11:30am and I work normally 2-4pm to 9pm-Midnight. I walk the dog 2tm twice a day, mostly do the dishes, and war h our 16th month old kid from 7:30am to usually noon when I put her down for a nap. Lately she has stopped helping out with the bulk of daily chores like laundry, dishes, and diaper genie bags so it's been left for me to do. She'll make dinner or lunch for the kid/us or busy some things and prepare. She isn't lazy by any means but it feels like she uses past trauma she works through as a crutch sometimes to be excused from these things and it makes me feel like my work load is really large and becomes overwhelming and I then don't get as much done as I want.

She recently stopped taking medication she uses that her psychiatrist set her up on and her excuse is someone has to physically hand her the pills or she's not elikely to just give up on them and not take them. I get that she as someone that took medicines in large amounts for awhile probably hates taking a daily thing but sometimes when the mean nasty sounding person comes out it makes me think she needs to be able to take it for her own accord and free will. I've tried setting up a daily reminder for Google Speaker, texting her, calling her she has shot down all these plans.

She's a good mom, and a good wife, I just think she projects her terrible previous partners onto me often and magnifies my faults to an extreme. For some info I now take ADHD meds and wear a c pap for snoring after her insisting for a few years. And I still have really awful short term memory and forgetfulbess and even forget what I right down stuff to remember on, I also don't have a good sleeping schedule. My memory issues and attention issues have bothered her before because she says " I forgot/I didn't hear you stops be an excuse at some point" of she's getting really mad and say shes unheard or that I never listen to her when she knows that's not the case.

I just don't know what to do besides couples counseling to get into he same page. Half the time we are great and amazing and are a dynamic duo but then a few days out of the week she just turns into a monster sometimes and it tires me out. any advice on what I should do what be helpful maybe I'm the problem and I should expect this to maybe we both are im not sure. I've never one verbally assaulted her, called her names, or purposely ignored her when she sinba calm mood.

Context: we've been togther 3-4 years, hard to keep track of, our second ela niversady is in June. I met her when she was finishing sober living and I was living with my parents to depressed to even have a driver license or car.

Things are different now and yes I've been difficult to change ever have and feels like I'm not the same guy. She's definitely not the same woman we've grown.