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Hi everyone! Sooo I let Thanksgiving ride by in peace and waited, so that I could get my thoughts in order with my husband. During this time within our 4 day weekend, I stayed in our room for sleep, to conduct a little experiment. I slept with a pen in my hand the entire 4 nights and every time I had to poke him to wake him up from the snore, I marked a tally on my hand:
Thursday: 24 times Friday: 21 times Saturday: 21 times Sunday: 17 times
Since my last post, I’ve also been doing sooo much research on whatever I can for the sleep apnea issue. I went to have my conversation with him and I ended up completely just ugly crying. I couldn’t help it. Because I am scared for him. Because I am upset that he doesn’t care for his own damn self the way our child and I do. Because this is selfish to everyone involved at this point, but more importantly himself. Because I know he needs help and I’m not sure how to help, besides just being here and being supportive, as I always have. And even then, we are completely different body types so he thinks my support is “easy to throw around because it’s not like you even know what it’s like to deal with this”. Anyway, I’m not an ultimatum type of person really but I’m putting my foot down. he swears he will buckle down and I will see change on his side. For his sake, I certainly hope he does…he deserves to feel better physically, emotionally, mentally, all of that…💔❤️
For what it’s worth, he did apologize for his shitty behavior and it was a very heartfelt, sincere apology. That part is a big deal for me ❤️ thank you for listening.
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