Me 34 M, wife 33F. We have been married for 5 years, together for 10. Since may my wife has started to talk about the possibility of a divorce but is 50/50 on the decision. She says I’m not helpful enough around the house however often overlooks things that I do around the house. I often cook our dinner clean the house mow the grass, etc. I’ve suggested things to help with it like a weekly chore list we can knock out each week together then rinse and repeat. We both work but her job causes her stress more than an average job does. I feel like that is a big contributor to her mental state. It’s also caused intimacy issues in the relationship. She says she’s no longer sexually attracted to me and to be fair I’ve not been feeling it either. When we would have sex it would be a scheduled event and usually rushed as well. We used to be great and had a lot of fun together. I told her our issues seem like something we can work through and become stronger in our relationship.

We’ve had one discernment counselling session last week and another scheduled for this week, to help her make up her mind. She’s still undecided I know one session isn’t a lot, but we’ve actually talked a lot about it before that session. The initial divorce talk has been going on since may. The counsellor during our session seemed to agree that our issues can be worked through since there’s no big event that put us on this path (cheating, money, abuse, drugs).

So now I’m in purgatory, I would like to work on the marriage but it takes two to make it work and one to end it. I feel bad because that puts a lot of pressure on her, but also I I hate the person I’m becoming waiting on her to decide. I’m more of a care free person that doesn’t let things get to them but now I have sleepless nights and am always stressed. I’ve tried everything I can think of to help her feel more appreciated and less stressed but nothing works. I even ended it once saying I’ll pack my things and leave since I thought the reason for her indecision was she wanted a divorce and didn’t want to be the bad guy, however she cried said she loved me and made it seem like she didn’t want me to leave. So I stayed. I don’t know what to do now and I don’t know how much longer I can mentally take the person this has made me.