We have some close friends who have non traditional relationships and she’s talked to them a lot about it. She recently told me while we were on a walk that she’s okay with me having flings with other people.

I will try to summarize to keep it short. Our sex life has been a bit strained since the beginning. In the beginning it felt kind of like she was putting on a show rather than being truly into it. (See previous post)

Later I come to find out sex isn’t really a priority for her. She finds genitals (including her own) kind of gross. She doesn’t like to kiss me after I go down on her. She doesn’t like to touch herself unless with a toy. Also going down doesn’t seem to do much for her either. She also doesn’t have much feeling down there no matter what I do. I’ve gotten her toys over time but she has to hold them in a very specific way to get off. There’s not much I can do to assist. She has no past history with SA or anything like that. She’s just not into it no matter how many things I try. If I want to have sex we will but I can tell it’s mostly for me.

She said recently that she feels very secure in our relationship and she’s okay with me sleeping with other people. I told her I don’t feel the same way, and I don’t like the idea of her being with other people. She doesn’t have interest in having sex with anyone else. I wish I could be cool like our other friends but I have too many insecurities of my own to be okay with that and she’s fine with it being a one way thing for me.

I don’t really know what I’m asking. Im just feeling a little lost. I don’t hate the idea but it’s kind of thrown me through a loop. She’s completely fine about it and has even made comments in passing like “what about her?” While out on a walk and laughed about it.

I love sex and as most of you know sex with the person you care about the most is better than random hookups. I just wish I could have that with her. I don’t know what to do with this new information. Nothing is wrong in our relationship but this feels off.