Hubs (32M) and I (31F) are high school sweethearts . Been together since I was 17 and he 18. He doesn't pursue me anymore, it's been this was for quite a while. I've tried everything I can think of with no avail. I thought it was my looks (I had put on 100lbs between fertility treatments and having our son), My confidence, that I wasn't being open enough or communicating clearly enough. So in the last 18 months I've lost 123lbs, worked on my confidence my communication, I've listened to countless sex podcasts, bought lingerie, bought sex toys, I got budior pics, and still nothings changed. He still just doesn't want me, we have aex probably once or twice a week but only when he thinks I'm sad. He never flirts with me or acts like he's interested until we're in bed. There is no verbal affection ever. I'm just at a loss. I don't know what else to do. I'm just tired of feeling so desperate rejected and unwanted. At one point in the last year he told me just to get an internet boyfriend to make me feel wanted and that made me feel even more unwanted. I kill myself for my family to make sure they have an amazing life and I'm just over here broken inside. I even started bmx/mtb at the age of 30 since they do it so we'd have something to bond over to help respark. But nothing. Yesterday i was feeling particularly good and attractive took son to the water park and wore a suit that showed off my new figure, was getting checked out, sent hubs pics and he just said how amazing i look when he came home he mDe comments about how smooth and soft my akin was and was rubbing up legs then asked to go to bed early so we get in bed and he gives me a massage then just says oh i just want to cuddle. Like it's just frustrating, I flirted all day, I wore a sundress which he likes, even walked around in the house in the swim suit he said looked so good on me. And still nothing.

TL;DR husband doesn't pursue or initiate sex with me or flirting unless I'm sad and he thinks it'll fix it even after a lot of self improvement on my end.