On mobile so please forgive format and other errors.

To give a little context on why I went minimal to no contact with my older sister I’ll share a few of the ‘greatest hits’

My sister and I have never been close but a few years ago after she moved out of state she contacted me out of the blue via messenger and we actually had a decent conversation. It made me hopeful that we might have a relationship now that we’re both adults but when she visited and we were around other people rather than one on one she did a 180 reverse trying to lord over me with put downs, comparing my appearance, personality, and interests to her, hers all being the superior comparison of course, and bringing up stuff that she still felt wrong for from when we were small children (like 7 or 8 years old) to show how hard it was growing with a brat like me apparently. This happened nearly every time I saw her, reaching out for a nice conversation one on one then 180 turn when we are with other people.

When I got married and we were planning the wedding she first asked to wear a flower crown, a flower crown was the head piece I had planned on. She was having a florist construct it while I planned on gathered wild flowers the day of and making it myself. We got married on the cheap and very DIY. When I told her as much and that a flower crown was my head piece she had a tantrum about how I hadn’t made her bridesmaid to start with and I wasn’t making her feel included. After that past about 4-3 weeks before the wedding she had gotten her invitation and messaged me again saying she had an event she was doing the same day and if I could push the ceremony back an hour from what was written on the invitation so she could do bother her event and attend the wedding. When I said no to this she made a bit of a passive aggressive remark about ‘well I didn’t know if it was important or not for me to show up.’ The wedding day itself thankfully went off without a hitch until later when I found out she had stolen a bottle of wine left from the ceremony and reception, in my spiritual beliefs a certain amount of the wine at the wedding is set aside for the couple for their honeymoon to help make the union a happy and successful one.

Finally the last family Christmas party she attended she went full bore on that 180, trying to order me around with helping set the table and other pre meal set up. We unfortunately had to sit next to each other and I endured her constant trying to get one up on my whenever I made a comment or tried to have a conversation with someone. Like when I was talking to my dad about some property we were trying to buy, my sister immediately chimed in on how we were all going to have Christmas at my house next year and even told me what I was too cool for dinner, all her favorites of course and how it would be so great for me to cook for her, in a tone of voice that meant I should be greatful to serve. When we did presents she hung over my shoulder as I had gotten a cookery book and as I was thumbing through it she pointed at something declaring firmly “you’re going to make that for me.” I finally told her to shut up and leave me alone and after that I haven’t responded to any of her calls.

Last year I gave birth to my son and I have been holding my sister at arms length even though she is very enthusiastic about being an aunt and goes on and on to my mother about how cute she is and how much she loves him already even though she has yet to meet him. Frankly I don’t want her around and I don’t want her around my son because I don’t trust her not to do that 180 turn and do something hurtful either to me or my baby. My dad thinks I’m being petty and I shouldn’t dwell on the past and let my sister enjoy bring an aunt.

For not wanting my sister around my baby because she has a track record of being nice in private and then turning into a jerk around people, am I the asshole?