just need to vent,

I'm used to lifting & running 5-6 days a week for the past 3 years. That has not been the case for the past week due to some anxiety/eating/GI issues. I just want to feel 100% better and strong. I want to complete my workouts. I don't want to feel better, and then be nervous that once I start my workout I'll start feeling bad in the middle of it and have to stop. It's so discouraging.

IDK if this is somewhat of a forced rest period or something, but I haven't been able to see my gym friends and have that social time every day, and train how I want to. I feel like less of an athlete/runner because of it. I'm jealous of anyone who is not having this issue right now. I wish I knew someone else who is not feeling their best this week and able to relate.

I also feel dramatic because I did still get 5 workouts in last week and 1 this week so far, but not to the intensity/duration that I wanted. Of course the stress about this is probably not helping my stomach feel better either.

Maybe I need to let go and accept that this is just one bad week out of months and years of good weeks. It's just hard because I enjoy making cumulative progress and I'm starting to get sad/depressed every day when I wake up and check if my stomach feels good enough to workout or not. I'm pretty sure I know what's causing the upset but there's also the fear that it's something bigger and I'll have to go like weeks without working out. That's irrational thinking though, can't let myself go down that train of thought.

I can't wait for the day I wake up feeling 100% and ready to smash my runs and lifts.