That's unforgivable. Who does this fact dude think he is? Dude's a jackass, that's for sure. Oh wait...

Anyway, Uncle JJ is back to scream about fish again. This time we've got something a little special! What you see up there is the American eel Anguilla rostrata (1,2) and the European eel Anguilla anguilla (3,4). These are eels commonly found all over North America and Europe respectively. Most people think they're strictly freshwater, but that couldn't be further from the truth. See, these eels are special. Every single one of them is born in the exact same place. The Sargasso Sea!

If you don't know what the Sargasso Sea is, it's a small section of water in the Atlantic Ocean where currents swirl and create a large patch of relatively calm water that hosts much unique life. And it's also in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle. The seaweed that grows there, Sargassum, is said to grow to lengths of a mile and be able to entangle ships and pull them to the bottom~ It doesn't in either respect, but it's cool to think of.

So. Eels in the Sargasso Sea. That's saltwater right? Yup! They hatch from eggs in the Sargasso and spend their first year there. They swim, eat, grow, and hide from predators the same as every other fish. At this point in their life they're known as glass eels because they're very tiny and nearly completely translucent.

So how do they wind up in American and European rivers, streams, and ponds? They take the long way. A journey of nearly 3,730 miles (6,000 km) in some cases made over the course of months and even years! At around one year of age they'll undergo a transformation into a bulkier, nearly black version of themselves called elvers and begin the journey to their new homes. Really, it's the homes of their parents. You'll find out why this is absolutely wild in a just a bit. They'll swim out from the Sargasso in a mass exodus of elvers and head towards their respective countries. Swimming through every water way, literally climbing over the tallest dams, even wriggling for miles through gutters in cites or lawns, sports fields, agricultural fields, fucking EVERYWHERE. How is this possible? They breath through their skin. They don't need lungs or abyssal chambers or any of the fancy gimmicks that other fish have. They just suck the oxygen out of the air through their skin. As long as there is enough moisture on the ground to keep their skin wet, they'll be just fine for as long as they need to be.

So they've made this big ass journey and reached their final destination. Now what? Breeding? Abso fucking lutely not. I already told you where every single one of these bastards is born in the wild, don't play with me. No, they just live. Doing the same thing they did in the Sargasso, just in fresh water on the other side of the world in some cases. So what do they do when they want to breed? Well, depending on the individual, you'll have to wait about 50 to 150 years to find out. They're long lived~ But after a fashion, they do eventually get horny and decide to bump some uglies. So what do they do? Transform again!

They'll lose the stomach and slim down to pretty much nothing but muscles, gonads, and a burning desire to nut all wrapped up in a sleek new silver tube known as silver eels. And you know what they do? They make the exact same journey they made all those years ago, only in reverse. They all head back to the Sargasso Sea. Through rivers and streams, over dams and through city streets until they eventually dive head first back into the saltwater of the Atlantic. From there it's a short cruise over to the waters of their birth~ The females lay their eggs, the males fertilize them, and then they all die. I wasn't joking when I said they lose the stomach. It literally atrophies and dissappears to make room for bigger and badder gonads. "BUT WHAT OF THE EGGS??" I hear no one scream. They just kinda deal. If they're lucky they'll hatch and begin the cycle anew. If they're not lucky, they don't hatch.

Notice anything a little odd about that last paragraph? Maybe the part about the eels dieing after they breed? Nah, that's not weird. I mean, look at salmon. They spawn in freshwater and die and the eggs hatch and make their way to the sea when they're big enough and then return to the same spot to breed later. What's weird about the eels is that it's the opposite. They breed and die in the sea and the offspring return to the exact same freshwater spots that their parents lived at. The trip from saltwater to freshwater absolutely destroys salmon, but it's nothing more than a small inconvenience to these eels. If you've read my post on salmon, you should have an idea of how hard it is to make that trip. And the eels do it with ease in a much more arduous manner. How do they do this? How do they know where to go when the destination is thousands of miles away and they have no parents to guide them? Science hippies have no fucking clue. They probably never will either~

This has been the mad ramblings of Uncle JJ, the weird fish guy that keeps escaping the padded basement no matter how many locks they put on the door~