Let me start by saying I’m a queer man, identifying as solosexual, who’s genuinely curious about this…

Back in 1990, over 55% of men reported having six or more close friends. Today, that number has been cut in half, with just 27% saying the same. Even more concerning, about 15% of men now say they don’t have any close friends at all. This is especially alarming when you consider that the U.S. Surgeon General has labeled loneliness an epidemic, linking it to serious health risks like heart disease, depression, and even a shorter lifespan (Survey Center on American Life, 2021; U.S. Surgeon General’s Report, 2023).

Over the same period, we’ve seen a significant shift in society’s acceptance of LGBTQ rights. In 2003, less than half of Americans thought homosexuality should be accepted, but by 2023, that number jumped to 57%. Support for same-sex marriage has also skyrocketed, especially after it was legalized nationwide in 2015 (Pew Research Center, 2023).

So here’s my question: Could the rise in LGBTQ rights somehow be connected to the decline in close male friendships? As society becomes more accepting of queer identities, some men might be feeling more hesitant about how their friendships are perceived. Maybe there’s some subconscious distancing going on—a fear of being judged or misunderstood—that’s leading to fewer deep connections.

But let me be clear: Progress in LGBTQ rights is essential. This isn’t about blaming that progress—it’s about figuring out how we can redefine what male friendships look like today. We need to reeducate society that two men can love each other deeply, and that can mean different things. If we can get people to understand that, it becomes a lot easier to navigate and define our own friendships, whatever form they take.

Do you think there’s a legitimate connection between the rise in LGBTQ rights and the decline in close male friendships?

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