Here's what he did and what follows after that is the back-story. I told a long-time friend something he didn't want to hear. It was true and he needed to hear it but apparently it didn't sit well with him. So when he replied to me, he reminded me he was the only friend I have and demanded that I apologize or I would have no friends at all. That, to me, is emotional blackmail. Read on if you want to know what led up to that.

Other than my partner, I only have one person I'd call a friend. For 10 years he was a good, reliable friend. Then one day, nearly four years ago, he completely cut me off, no texts or calls, without giving me any reason. I literally cried everyday for six months grieving this loss. When I tried one more time, I think I actually mailed a letter, he messaged me a few days later as if nothing had happened.

To avoid being too long of a post, he cut off contact when a hookup he had never left and they were in some sort of relationship. I found out this person was a huge manipulator exhibiting textbook behavior. My friend eventually got him out of his house--three years later.

During those three years, we maintained our friendship but it had changed. Before, we would hang out for a few hours 2-3 times a week, we'd text nearly every day and even called sometimes. But now we maybe met up once every other week, when I messaged it would take days to reply if be even replied at all. When we did make plans, it would sometimes take hours for him to show up even though he lives 5 min from me.

He said he was busy with work and other stuff in his life and I took it at face value. After a while I noticed when he did message me or wanted to hang out, it was bc he needed me to help him somehow. Anyway, the bad behavior continued and I started suspecting that he was lying to me about a few things although I had no concrete proof.

And last week he tried his emotional blackmail.

With that, I knew he was no longer a friend and that I was hoping and waiting in vain for his behavior to go back the way it was when we met. It's my assumption that his experience with his manipulator had taught him a new set of skills that he had been using on me. Given all the trouble my buddy had with his live-in, I thought the opposite would happen. That the terrible treatment he received would make him want to be a better person, not a worse one.

Even though I think we are all disposed to some manipulative behavior, but now I see how much of it is learned. That can be a good thing, since usually what is learned can be unlearned. But the person has to want to change, and I don't think my ex-friend wants to do that.

So I let him go. Blocked him everywhere he could contact me (and so if I have a moment of weakness I won't contact him). I knew it was bad, but after the threat to withhold his friendship, I finally accepted that he had already done that years ago. I'm fortunate to have a great relationship and that I don't mind spending time alone, but damn, it was nice to have at least one other person I could relate to and whose company I enjoyed.

(Ok, this was longer than I intended.)