Years ago, I moved into a new apartment while studying abroad. The landlord was... well, let’s just say he was a real shark. The guy had a dozen properties rented out to students and a reputation for squeezing every last penny out of his tenants. By coincidence I ended up dating a fellow student who happened to rent from him in the next building over, and who moved out six months in, so I had advance warning of what to expect on move-out day.

When she moved out, she had broken a single plate and lost a fork, so somehow got charged for an entire new matching set of plates and cutlery. She even replaced the plate and fork herself, but that wasn’t good enough for Mr. Sharklord. No, he insisted on billing her for a full “brand new set”. Of course, she learned later from her ex-flatmate that he only replaced the missing items and pocketed the difference! Imagine the profit accumulating over the years over a dozen apartments, when for every student you charge the price of a new set, but actually only buy one replacement set for one fork here, one glass there, pocketing the difference. Not just shady, but utterly petty.

Now, when myself and my best friend had moved in, Landlord proudly tells us about the “brand new mattresses” in our rooms. A year later, when my friend was moving out, we did a massive deep clean, left the place sparkling, and made sure to replace anything missing. But of course, during the inspection, the landlord “found” issues. Surprise, surprise: he deducted and withheld my friend's entire deposit, mostly on the basis of the mattress being (slightly) stained and needing replacement.

My friend was understandably fuming. But then we had a thought. If he was charging us for a “new” mattress, then my friend had technically just paid for this one... so, technically, it was his! And, equally technically, it just wouldn't be considerate to leave personal belongings cluttering up the Landlord's apartment after he moved out, would it? Moving out means moving out...

He couldn’t take the mattress on the plane, obviously, so we hauled it down to a nearby park, where some local homeless people hung out, and “donated” it. Fast forward a few days: I’m still in the apartment and about to move out shortly, my friend’s already gone, and I hear the landlord arrive to show the room to a new tenant. I hear the bedroom door and then... Rage! “Where the f*** is the mattress? I have to F****** buy a new one!?!”

I almost lost it right there. But I held my composure, played dumb, and listening to him fume.

And a few days later, when it was my turn to leave? Oh, I knew I was getting nothing back from my deposit. And I too was going to take ALL of my personal belongings with me. So I took everything I had “paid” for - the mattress, plates, cutlery, glasses, even the lightbulbs. The friendly neighborhood hobos made out like kings.