Long story short, this maladaptive thing I've been doing it since childhood and I know its common doing this as a children but I think that this is stopping of doing things like, Im daydreaming while doing this, I just can't stop man why? I didn't learn barely a thing in my English course and high school because of this and depression, then I look at people of my age being successful or at least having some income and i'm here bed rotting and listening to music like a sick person in shambles. I really need psychiatric help cuz idk what to do and I can't even vent to someone irl cuz I have no friends, There's people of my age that are finishing college or working in a decent job, whatever I can't watch a video or movie without pausing it cuz I have to rewrite the shitty ass history in my head, I repeat myself when this happens "YOU ARE NOT SUCCESFUL, THIS IS NOT HAPPENING, YOU ARE NOT HIM, STOP IT" but I still keep doing the same E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y :(