I had been happy I had gotten over my obsession with a certain palette but it popped up in my mind again. About 2 weeks ago. I started staring at pictures of it again. Watching videos of it again. I went through my stash and I have the shades from it I want. Why did it come back? I didn't get approved for something and it had made me sad. Made me feel rejected like on a personal level. Feeling a bit sad I turned to makeup. Saw something on the tube that reminded me of that palette. And it's the shiny exterior. It keeps calling me. Pretty packaging. Makes me feel shallow. I wanted some shiny plastic/metal. Same way I wanted approval. Don't need either of them. Need to move on. I don't know how the two things have gotten jumbled up in my brain. Just feeling a bit lost. I think maybe I'm focusing one makeup to make myself forget about the other stuff. Like I can be sad about makeup but not sad about the actual thing.