Found some magic mushrooms in georgia at my usual hunting grounds. I was actually surprised because i wasn’t really expecting that i’d find anything this late in the season but with all the rain from the hurricanes and it still being so warm outside i guess these lil fellers lost track of time. No one told them they were scheduled to have clocked out some time ago.

anyway while i’m quite familiar with picking these particular mushrooms, it got me to wondering… Do all mushrooms that bruise blue are magic mushrooms? i know all magic mushrooms bruise blue but are their mushrooms without letters of enrollment to hogwarts (of witchcraft and wizardry) that also bruise blue?

don’t tell me to ‘google it’ cause i’ve already looked but can’t find a conclusive answer from a credible source. forgive me if i don’t think it wise to bet my life on some random guy on a forum giving a definitive “yep”.

I mean in this instance i’m not risking death, it’s pretty fucking obvious i’ve identified these accurately. Like REALLY fucking obvious. Like “jumping jelly bean burritos, batman, these sure are magical mammajammas!” ( - Alfred Hitchcock)

but if i’ve only ever picked these mushrooms. there probably are other kinds growing in georgia but not where i go to pick them and i already know where to look for these so ive never bothered hunting anywhere else. But like i said, i usually don’t find these late september and am lucky to have found any at all so i thought i might try and search for other kinds elsewhere during the offseason for these trippy tamales (note: mushrooms are not actually tamales, tamales are. mushrooms are mushrooms. Look it up. Although if you are searching for mushrooms and not tamales, you’ll probably have better luck looking down. Also if any geneticists are reading this and are considering playing god by combining mushroom and tamales DNA, please DM me.)

…what the fuck was i talking about before yall so rudely interrupted me??

oh fuck rite does blue ever blew jew poo in ur goo goo ka-chew da-boo-boo choo choo train?

please in lye ten me

(don’t ban me i can’t help myself ill be better but i got carried away and now i feel like i have to post this the way it’s written cause jack karowackity whack attack is looking down at me from heaven and he’s mouthing the words “DON’T EDIT!”.

me: “are you sure about that, jack?”

Jack kurowhackness: “it always worked for me and i’m, at best, was only ever a mildly talented author.”

me: “i guess…”

jack kursplatso: “trust me 😋👍”

me: “Alright, I’ll do it! By the power invested in me, POST!!!!”

raises finger up towards the sky. A giant bolt of lightning strikes the tip and illuminates my godlike body (buddha was a god sorta, right? the fat one?) *ahem - with the speed of an amphetamine-fueled samurai doth my finger cut the air like thy cheeks cutteth cheese and strikes the “post” button with a force strong enough to … post it. yeah it wasn’t that much force but definitely more than sufficient to make it happen. it’s not like it cracked the screen or anything but the phone damn sure knows it’s been poked, i’ll tell you that much!!

god help me, how do i end this madness?!?? i am so banned from posting in this subreddit forever. dammit. this is gonna be flagged faster than … something. i dunno.