/u/UncookedMeatloaf goes door knocking in an Auckland suburb

Uncooked walks to the first house on the street. It's made of straw. He knocks on the door, but there is no answer.

Uncooked walks to the second house on the street, made of sticks. Again, a knock and no answer.

The third house on the street seems to be of a more sturdy brick construction. Uncooked knocks on the door and a raspy voice answers.

"Hi, I'm Uncooked and I'm running to be MP for Auckland. Do you have some time to talk about policies?"

"Abso-loote-ly-tootely neighboroony" says the voice inside, with a strong Minnesotan-American accent.

Uncooked explains the Green Party's historical support for the Rebuilding Places of Worship Act.

"Oh golly, does that sound swell-a-roonie. The house of god oughta be strongaroonie, or my name's not Ned Fland..."

The conversation is interrupted by a large bang and flash. Uncooked looks behind him to see what was going on. Ned explains.

"Oh golly, that's just the sewage line. The quality of our sewage treatment has been on the steady decline-a-roonie for the last few years. We really need a comprehensive inspection-a-roonie of the sewage line and a total re-modernization of the whole plant."

"Funnily enough..." *says Uncooked *"...that's actually a core part of my election platform. I believe in modernizing sewage treatment for all of New Zealand and all of Auckland."

"Well I'll be. You've got my vote. Now I've gotta get goin to my Thursday night bible study! See ya neighbor-roonie!"

Ned closes the door.

Uncooked walks down the street and knocks on a door. His strong, virile hands rap the wooden entryway.

"Hello?" says a feeble voice from inside

"Hi. My name is UncookedMeatloaf and I'm running to be MP for Auckland. Do you have some time to talk about policies?"

"Sure." says the voice inside

the door opens.

Uncooked briefly explains the Green Party's plan to commit to increasing the number of electric vehicles on New Zealand roads. The person in the house sagely nods, and then closes the door.

Uncooked moves to the next house. He knocks again.

"Hello, I'm UncookedMeatloaf and I'm running to be MP for Auckland. Do you have some time to talk about policies?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" shouts a very angry and Darth Vaderesque voice inside. Uncooked quickly steps back from the door.

The next house is made of wood. It looks pretty good. Uncooked knocks on the door.

"Hi, I'm Uncooked and I'm running to be your MP for Auckland. I'm fighting for better schools, better sewage, and a more cycle-friendly New Zealand. Would you mind if I come in and talk policy?"

The occupant of the house opens his door. He makes direct eye contact with Uncooked. Somewhere in the distance, a Queen song is playing. The man reaches into his pocket and puts on a pair of sunglasses. He says only one word before shutting the door... "No."