Sir Fresh appeared on Mike Hosking Breakfast this morning to talk about his future in politics, the current general election campaign, and the further leftward swing of the Green Party.

Hosko: “...and that’s why I believe that the Orbit 360° Dining Experience is the place to be. Now, with me is former Prime Minister and my good friend Sir Fresh3001. He’s here to talk about a number of issues. Obviously most pertinently the current general election. But I’m also interested to hear his thoughts on the radical leftward swing of the Green Party, and his plans for the future. I’ve interviewed Sir Fresh on a number of occasions and even without our close friendship I would consider him - I do consider him - one of the greatest statesmen and Prime Ministers in our nation’s long history. Now, New Zealanders have the chance to hear from him during his relative retirement - no longer the leader of a political party. How’re you doing Sir Fresh?”

Sir Fresh: “Well it’s an absolute pleasure to be back Mike, I’m doing great. And thank you very much for those kind words, you do flatter me-”

Hosko: “It’s absolutely the truth Sir Fresh and don’t you let anyone tell you otherwise.”

Sir Fresh: “I won’t- I won’t Mike. Thanks. Ah yep. So the election, like all others, is one for change. We’ve got a real chance for another National-led government and I can’t stress how important that is. Outside of the absolute necessity of denying the Greens office, we’ve got fresh leadership and great plans for reform. I’m very excited for the next term in Parliament.”

Hosko: “No problem bud. Now, you mentioned fresh leadership - unfortunately not a pun, though I guess it wouldn’t really work since you aren’t leader - this really is an end of an era isn’t it? You, of course, led the country for two terms as Prime Minister and implemented vital reforms along the way. Unlike the Green government, you survived a vote of no confidence despite only controlling a minority in Parliament. You united the right and brought National back to poll at heights it hasn’t seen for years. And speaking of that Green government, you orchestrated a genius power play which led to the collapse of a regime with a so-called “supermajority” in Parliament - pretty amazing stuff. So, what are your plans for the future, and can you reiterate the reasons for your resignation?”

Sir Fresh: “Well, my reason for resigning as leader is pretty simple - I had simply run out of steam. Opposing the government is tough work, especially when you have a lot to oppose, and the whole politicking behind the motion of no confidence unfortunately helped to wear me out. It was during my brief stint as Health Minister again that I realised I couldn’t serve New Zealanders to the best of my ability as Prime Minister. Instead, I’m looking to take a senior cabinet position where my talents can be better utilised. And as for plans for the future - I’m sure that answers your question partly - I would most definitely be interested in portfolios like Finance or Business.”

Hosko: “Wow, interesting stuff! Looking forward to it. Now, the Greens - the Greedy Greens, as you could call them - seem to have taken yet another serious swing to the left. It seems to me that insidious imnofox is still pulling the strings after all this time. With his apparent resignation, I’d hoped that duplicitous, dishonest, conniving, feral little scumbag had retired from public life. But no, he’s still here, and I have no doubt that he’s played a role in this second edition of the Communist Manifesto. Thoughts?”

Sir Fresh: “I wouldn’t use such strong words, but I agree. There really is some concerning stuff contained in this manifesto. It’s never been a big campaign issue here, but their stuff here on national security is the one thing I want to highlight today. The Greens are actively and openly promising to put every single New Zealander at risk, and they’re bragging about it. Now, they’ve outright said they will abolish the GCSB, and they’ve promised to abolish the Intelligence and Security Committee. Two vital institutions for the preservation of our society, gone. But they don’t stop there - the Greens have said, though they haven’t made up their mind apparently, that they might even abolish the SIS. Absolutely absurd. Let that sink in. This is a platform that they have actually released - this isn’t an unofficial publication by the Young Greens or some activist organisation, it’s from a former governing party of the country.”

Hosko: “That is indeed concerning. Well Sir Fresh, it’s been an absolute pleasure to have you and I look forward to catching up soon. Sir Fresh everyone!”