imnofox ventured outside his southern homeland to meet with voters in the heart of the north island

“Hi, I’m imnofox, out here campaigning for the Greens. How are you?”

”Oh, hi. I’m never voting for the Greens, you’re the traitors who are letting Asians invade our nation, letting criminals roam the streets, weakening our national security in the process. I have no interest in you bastards, I’m voting for New Zealand First. Heil Winston!”

“Did you just say ‘heil Winston’?”

”Yeah, that doesn’t mean I love Hitler, libtard. Look, New Zealand First are the only party standing up against the globalist agenda to destroy our borders and perpetrate genocide against native white populations. Y’all Greens are foot soldiers of Agenda 21, serving the globalist interests of an eco-totalitarian world government.”

“Dude, you’re nuts.”

”This is why we’ve got to get rid of you traitorous Greens, selling out real kiwis like me to serve your Jewish masters. Either stop this ‘climate change’ nonsense and close up our borders, or shut up and go back to China.”

“Alright, I think I’m done here.”

shaken, though not surprised, by this conversation with New Zealand First’s Whanganui electorate chair, imnofox walked to the next house.

“Kia ora, my name is imnofox, campaigning for your party vote this election. What’s up?”

”Oh, hi! This is so exciting! I watch you every day on Parliament TV! Look, I even have a poster of you on my wall! See, I lead the Green Party in this cool online game called ‘Model NZ Parliament’, and we just took government for our second term! Hopefully you can do the same. Ugh, you make me so flustered!”

“Well, I see you’re quite enthusiastic. Hopefully we can pull off that second term. What did you say that game was?”

”Model NZ Parliament, it’s pretty cool. I’ve got a lot of campaigning experience now.”

“Why don’t you join our campaign then? Anyone can volunteer, it’s great fun- sounds like you know a few tricks!”

”Wow, gee, Mr Fox, this is very exciting! I’ll be out on the campaign trail ASAP!” imnofox left, searching up this ‘Model NZ Parliament’ on his solar powered smartphone, before heading to the next house

“Kia ora, I’m imnofox, Green Party MP, out here trying to get your vote for the Greens. How are you?”

”Oh wow, yes, thank you. My name is *Susan, and I’m quite concerned about our prison situation. So many young’uns are being locked up for years, ruining their lives, facilitating a vicious cycle of crime and poverty- and then we have privately operated prisons treating these prisoners terribly. What next?”*

“You’re right Susan, it’s shocking. Successive National government have put punishment and revenge ahead of truly rehabilitative justice. We need to scrap three strikes immediately, which is a gimmick of a policy introduced by National and ACT a decade ago that has failed to deter criminals and only resulted in totally disproportionate punishments for various levels of crimes. It’s a broken system that doesn’t work, something the Ministry of Justice said at the beginning. We’ve really got to review and rework how sentences are applied, to stop imprisonment from being the default sentence and ensuring other sentencing methods such as home detention or supervision are used when appropriate. And you’re right, the treatment of prisoners in private prisons is disgraceful, but exactly what you’d expect when you contract out prison administration to a private third party. You can’t profit off of prisoners, you can’t grow- so you cut costs, and you cut corners at the cost of the ‘expendables’, the damaged and broken prisoners everyone forgets about- or when they do thing about them, it’s from a place of pure anger and fiery revenge. We’ve got to close all private prisons and prohibit private prisons from being opened in the future.”

”Well I’m glad someone’s got the guts to do something about it! Which party are you with?”

“The Greens, the Green Party of Aotearoa New Zealand! We’re really hoping to win a second term- can we count on you?”

”Oh yes, if I remember. Hang on, let me just write it in my diary.”

imnofox let her write it in her diary, before cartwheeling over the hedge and onto her neighbour’s porch

“Kia ora, my friend. It is I, imnofox, liberator of the trees and saviour of the downtrodden. How are you today?”

”Hello there, imnofox. I was actually just wondering about what you’re going to do about our surveillance laws? I’ve been hearing all about the government spying on New Zealanders, and it’s quite concerning. When did we become a surveillance state for the United States?”

“Well, it’s pretty concerning. Look, the Greens recognise that we need to review and fix our surveillance laws, and scrap the legal basis for mass surveillance of New Zealanders by the GCSB. The GCSB has such inadequate oversight, left alone to serve surveillance intelligence to our Five Eyes partners, with little care for our rights. In 2013 even, the National government empowered the government to backdoor ICT providers in secret, directly undermining trust and security in our ICT companies. We’ve got to review these laws and put the privacy of New Zealanders back at the forefront.”

”That’s good to hear. Well, I’d better get back to plugging the holes drilled in my ceiling. Can’t let those American agents listen in on my dinner time conversation!”

imnofox shrugged, and continued on his merry way