Sir Fresh3001 appears with his good mate Mike Hosking for an interview on Newstalk ZB

Mike Hosking: “...and in other news, a speech attacking Asian New Zealanders delivered by the New Zealand First leader has earned Winston_Wilhelmus widespread condemnation from politicians across the political spectrum, especially after it emerged that he paraphrased Adolf Hitler. With me now to talk about this issue, and the ongoing general election, is Leader of the National Party and former Prime Minister, Sir Fresh3001. Sir Fresh, it’s a pleasure to talk to you again - I don’t think we’ve seen each other since that New Year's cocktail party in Remuera, have we?”

Sir Fresh3001: “Haha, well it’s only been two weeks or so Mike. But yeah, I think you’re right - those were absolutely divine canapés, weren’t they? Now, back to the issue at hand: the comments made by Winston_Wilhelmus are utterly despicable and I condemn them in their entirety. Not only was the inspiration for the speech reprehensible, but its content was awful also. As you well know, my good friend and deputy Mattsthetic was born in South Korea and he feels like this is an attack on him to some extent - and frankly, I agree. It fits with the trend of immigrant or minority MPs being attacked by bigots, y’know going back to the anti-Semitism directed towards Sir John Key. In any case, I expect that we’ll see everyone sensible in NZF fleeing the party in droves.”

Mike: “Absolutely, absolutely, totally despicable comments by the New Zealand First leader - those were great canapés weren’t they? Anyway, the general election campaign: what are your thoughts on National’s chances and where do you think you can pick up electorate seats?”

Fresh: “Well, I’m absolutely ready for our blue wave to sweep the Greens out of power. We’ve got a strong team of MPs and campaigners who are energising the Nat Nation and I think it’s well within our ability to pick up an additional two seats. As for electorates: I’m confident that we can hold the four that we’ve got and picking up Northland and Southern is not outside the realm of possibility. Regional New Zealand is really waking up to the horrors of the Greens being in charge and I think that will work in our favour. Plus, I think that the other parties are really waking up to how radical the Greens truly are. They don’t believe in income caps, or socialism in company boards, or a transaction tax, or banning oil exploration in its entirety. So I think parties like TOP and United Future will be very willing to come to an arrangement after they realise that we’re a lot closer to them than the Greens are.”

Mike: “Interesting, very interesting. I was honestly quite shocked having read the Green Party manifesto, they’ve shed their green skin and it really is all red inside. Now, on their employment law policies - quite scary stuff really? Taxpayer funded unions. Banning “anti-union activity” by businesses and organisations. Allowing so-called solidarity strikes. It seems like they’re handing power right back to the militant unions, doesn’t it?”

Fresh: “It really does Mike. It’s a corny joke but I don’t think that “Green” is the right colour to describe these psychos. We’re talking about literal socialism here, they’re forcing companies to allow militant union representatives to occupy half of their board. Not only will this tank some of our largest corporations which employ thousands, but it’ll do tremendous harm to our economy. It’s lunacy really, it’s an absolutely rort. Taxpayer funded unions - totally despicable stuff really. The government is going to be paying militant unions to extort small businesses into paying wages they can’t afford, and when that happens they’ll all go on strike. We’re heading back to the wild 90s Mike, a strike every day of the week. Now, this banning “anti-union activity” stuff is really ominous - sounds like the type of garbage that the Stasi would come up with. “Anti-union activity”? What on earth does that entail? I wouldn’t put it past the Greens to put a gag on freedom of expression to achieve this particular goal.”

Mike: “Too right, too right. Totally scary stuff here. Glad to have had you on though Sir Fresh, spreading the good word and a good warning about who not to vote for this election.”

Fresh: “It’s been a pleasure talking to you.”