Sir Fresh3001 launches his re-election campaign for East Cape (once again) at the top of Mount Maunganui.
“Well, welcome all. I meet you here once again, at the top of Mount Maunganui, to launch my re-election campaign for the wonderful electorate of East Cape. This time, though, I have a very specific metaphor in mind when choosing this place to launch my campaign. Take a look down there - that’s right, down there, at the beach.”
Sir Fresh3001 points down the hill, and the crowd rushes to the edge of the mountain to get a better look.
“Take a look at those waves. Those big beautiful blue waves. That’s what we’re creating. That’s our movement right now. A blue wave. We’ve taken Waikato, we’ve taken Christchurch, and once again we’ll take the Beehive. But first we need to turn our blue wave into a blue tsunami. Imagine that - imagine a tsunami. And imagine that the city of Tauranga was green. A green city. Tauranga represents the Green Party. The tsunami represents the National Party. What would a tsunami do to Tauranga? It’d destroy it. That’s what we’ll do to the Green Party, we’ll destroy them with our blue tsunami. But we need you to do it. We need Nat Nation to take us there, to give us the momentum to bowl them all over. That momentum starts here, in Tauranga, in the Bay of Plenty, and in East Cape. I need my strong foundations back home to lead a campaign to liberate New Zealand from the great Green menace. So re-elect Fresh3001 and vote two ticks blue. Blue like the ocean, or something. Thanks.”
Subreddit
Post Details
- Posted
- 5 years ago
- Reddit URL
- View post on reddit.com
- External URL
- reddit.com/r/MNZElection...