riding his solar powered skateboard down the streets, imnofox went doorknocking throughout Greymouth to talk to locals about important issues

imnofox: “Kia ora! I’m imnofox, co-leader of the Greens and candidate for Aoraki. How are you today, any particular issues on your mind?”

Eugene: “Yeah hi. I’m actually interested in what you’re going to do about waste. I keep seeing plastic lining the coast, and it’s quite disappointing. Surely there’s something to be done?”

imnofox: “Definitely, it’s pretty saddening to see that mess. I’m committed to both putting a constructive levy on plastic bags, and actually utilising the Waste Minimisation Act, which National and New Zealand First have been too scared to do. We’ll declare plastic packaging and plates, cutlery, etc as ‘priority products’, requiring manufacturers to include dealing with the waste of that product in its life cycle within the cost of the product. This’ll ensure that dealing with waste isn’t a forgotten externality, but priced into the product’s life cycle.”

Eugene: “Oh that’s exciting. I saw National announced a 50c plastic bag levy. Is that good?”

imnoofx: “It’s a great step forward from the National Party, but definitely doesn’t go far enough- especially considering all their other inaction and funding cuts to environmental programmes. We also don’t know what they’ll do with the revenue. With the carbon tax, they kept that, but cut the programmes it was intended to fund. WIth the nitrate pollution levy, they kept that levy, but abolished the waterways cleanup programmes it funded, using the revenue from both charges to fund their general pool of New Zealand First lolly scrambles. I don’t see any reason to expect any different from the plastic bag levy. When implementing this, Greens will put 35c per bag towards environmental cleanup, and 15c to research and development of alternatives to plastic. Based on the UK’s experiences, that’s $84 million a year for clean-ups and $36 million towards research and development into plastic alternatives.”

Eugene: “Wow, I’d rather I knew what the money was going towards, especially if it’s investing in clean up and alternatives. Seems a bit rubbish to have it flowing into the general funding pool. Thanks, you’ve got my vote!”

imnofox skated to the next house, rapping on the door before noticing the doorbell

imnofox: “Hi, I’m imnofox- Green co-leader and candidate for Aoraki. How are you today?”

Peter: “Hello! I’m quite concerned about the chance of Winston Wilhelmus getting elected, and I voted Liberals last election because I loved their drug policy. Seems like the best choice for me is United Future’s candidate.”

imnofox: “Yeah, one of the sad sacrifices of the National-Liberal merger was the loss of the Liberal Party’s drug policy, but it’s good that United Future has picked that up somewhat. I definitely share your concerns about Winston Wilhelmus getting re-elected, and, if you’ve seen the polls, you’ll see it’s basically neck and neck between myself and Winston Wilhelmus. If you’re really passionate about drug liberalisation, then you’ll love our policy to end prohibition on drugs, and treat addiction as a health issue- not a criminal issue. Unfortunately, in such a close race, the United Future’s candidate has no chance of winning. So if you want to both beat Winston Wilhelmus and support comprehensive drug liberalisation, then a vote for myself is a vote to do just that.”

Peter: “Normally I wouldn’t consider Greens, but you’re right. I’ve got to be smart with my vote if I want to kick Winston_Wilhelmus out of Aoraki. I’ll talk about it with my wife, but you make a good case for voting for you.”

imnofox: “No worries, have a great day!”

imnofox skated around the corner, doing a sick jump over an entire hedge

imnofox: “Hello, i’m imnofox, your local Green candidate for Aoraki and co-leader of the Green Party. How are you today?”

John: “Hmm. I don’t have much time for the Greens. I’m a farmer, and I know that New Zealand First is the party of the regions. What reason is there to kick Winston Wilhelmus out?”

imnofox: “Well, New Zealand First may have once claimed to be the party of the regions, but that’s not something they can claim anymore. One of their flagship policies this election is a 10% export tariff on wood, sheep, and dairy- which would absolutely cripple our primary sector.”

John: “Yikes, that’s nuts?! That’d destroy my family’s income, and would decimate this town. There’s no way I can vote for moronic policies like that. Even the Greens, despite their veganism, wanted to invest in sustainable farming, not destroy the environment. I’ll vote Greens if I have to stop Winston_Wilhelmus, damnit.”

imnofox: “I’m glad to have your support, my friend, even if so tentative.”

imnofox continued skating around Greymouth, knocking on as many doors as he could, leaving his knuckles red and bloodied by the end of the day