imnofox visits Waikato hospital to discuss Greens health policy that puts patients and nurses first

“Kia ora. I’d like to start off by acknowledging the hard and often unpleasant work you do, for dismal pay over long hours. It’s not a fun job, but it’s a job that so many strong and caring New Zealanders do for the love of helping people get better. But we’ve seen the consequences of low pay for our nurses. We need nurses, everyone relies on nurses. Underfunding means we’re seeing less nurses stay in New Zealand, instead travelling overseas for a better career. We’re seeing nurses and resources stretched far and thin, at the cost of their health and the health of patients.”

“Recognising these failures, the Green Party are committed to giving nurses the payrise they long deserve. It’s about making the profession attractive for new nurses. It’s about compensating nurses for the intense labour they provide. It’s about reducing workloads to ensure better health outcomes for patients. We will give a 22% payrise to nurses and midwives up and down New Zealand. This work is important- integral even- to the daily operations of our country, and not just those on the trolley.”

“But it doesn’t stop there for our health reforms. More and more kiwis are missing out on their essential health checkups at their local general practitioners because the costs are too damn high. Money shouldn’t prevent people from getting the healthcare they deserve. We pledge to slash GP fees by $10 a visit for all kiwis. That’s $18 down to $8 for VCLA practices, and $42 down to $32 for all non-VCLA practices. We’ll do this by lowering the VCLA fee cap, and by increasing funding for all practices that lower their fees by $10.”

“We’re seeing similar problems in dentistry. Too many New Zealanders can’t afford dental check-ups or put off going to the dentist because of the costs associated with treatment. The last national dental survey saw that about half of kiwis put off dental treatment that they knew they needed due to the prohibitive cost. Dentists are now seeing tooth conditions associated with countries with much higher levels of poverty than New Zealand- and that’s just unacceptable. To remedy this shocking statistic, we’re going to extend free dental services up to the age of 21, and we’re going to give every adult one free dental checkup a year. For our most vulnerable communities, we’ll target funding to subsidise dental treatment for those areas. This is about ensuring the best public health outcomes for New Zeala- woah!”

imnofox is interrupted as National candidate for Waikato /u/cenarchos comes walking down the corridor imnofox is speaking in, falling flat on his face. Blood covers his nose and makes a small pool on the linoleum floor.

“Woah, hey mate, let’s get you up.” says imnofox, helping the ex-Labour MP onto his feet.

imnofox helps /u/cenarchos into a nearby treatment room, along with the help of a nurse- still starstruck from imnofox’s speech

“Looks like you need to spend the next day or two in this bed here!” imnofox tells /u/cenarchos, aware of the election date. “It’d be terrible for your health if you broke yet another bone.”

Newshub cameras catch the whole ordeal on film: the 6pm bulletin starts with a new leading story: “Green co-leader imnofox helps political opponent after second serious injury” runs the headline