The Beehive Theatrette fills with press and other nice people.

The leadership of the Labour Party, the Green Party, and the ACT Party take the stage. /u/fartoomuchpressure gets up to speak first.

“Thank you all for coming here today. This election has delivered us a diverse parliament. As is frequently the case, no single party or bloc is able to govern alone. An agreement must be made between different parties to form a governing majority” declares /u/fartoomuchpressure.

“Today I am happy to announce that the Labour, Green and ACT parties have come to a governing agreement. A coalition between Labour and the Greens will be formed, with ACT providing confidence and supply. We have agreed on a number of areas of common ground, which we will enact throughout this term. I would like to invite /u/imnofox and /u/UncookedMeatloaf to talk about what they hope to achieve as part of this government, as the new co-Deputy Prime Ministers.”

/u/imnofox and /u/UncookedMeatloaf move behind the podium.

“Kia ora everyone, it’s absolutely great to be here today, leading the Green Party into government for the first time in history. My colleague and I are extremely proud to have run such a successful campaign on fighting climate change, fighting poverty, cleaning up our rivers, and fighting against the scourge of racism. It’s been a tough campaign, but we’ve finished in a very strong position” says /u/imnofox.

“We are now ready to pass the Zero Carbon Act, one of the strongest long term anchors against climate change. Here we have the support of our coalition partner, and agreed abstention from ACT. In any coalition negotiations, you can’t have everything you want. Compromise is the core of it. We know that not all of our supporters will be happy with the concessions made. With 100% of our members who voted approving the coalition arrangement, we are confident that we will make huge green steps forward for Aotearoa New Zealand” says /u/UncookedMeatloaf.

“We have gained significant ministerial positions for the Green Party. Naturally, /u/UncookedMeatloaf will be the Minister for the Environment in this new government, giving New Zealand a truly green voice for the environment, conservation, climate change, energy, and biosecurity. On top of that, /u/UncookedMeatloaf will also be the new Minister for Primary Industries, helping New Zealand move to a sustainable green model of farming” announces /u/imnofox.

“One of our key priorities this election was transport. We want to move from the outdated focus on more roads for more cares, which has destroyed our cities. It’s time to move to a cleaner, greener, and more space efficient model. That’s why /u/imnofox will be the new Minister for Transport, transforming our urban centres with a focus on public transport, cycling, and making our cities better for people. Additionally, /u/imnofox will be the new Minister for Communications & Broadcasting. In this new role, we can better our digital privacy laws, and expand our public journalism sector for the good of the country” announces /u/UncookedMeatloaf.

“We’re extremely excited to be entering this new era for the Greens, with our partners, and can’t wait to better this country. We’re also really excited for the long overdue drug liberalisation this government is committed to bringing to the table, which I’m sure my new colleagues will talk more about shortly. This is a bold step forward, and we’re more ready than ever to take it. Thank you very much!” ends /u/imnofox, with clear excitement.

/u/Fresh3001 steps up to the lectern as the applause for the co-leaders of the Green Party dies down, clearing his throat as he begins to speak.

“Yeah, gidday. The ACT party has come to an agreement with Labour and the Greens regarding a confidence and supply deal as we see it as our only way of keeping out the illiberal values of NZ First. As part of this deal we have agreed to support or abstain from the passing of certain legislation from Labour and the Green Party, namely the governmental budget - standard in an agreement of this sort - and Labour’s policy of Criminal Justice Reform, one the ACT party is in favour of anyway, with some amendments made. In addition to this, the ACT party had promised to abstain from voting against the Zero Carbon Act - a necessary concession for such a deal to work.

“However, the ACT party has made some serious gains towards the passing of vital legislation that we have promised our voters. Our policy of Drug Law Liberalisation will be implemented in two stages, beginning with the legalisation of marijuana - a vital step in increasing the individual freedoms of all New Zealanders. Promises have been made in regard to taxation also, lower to medium income earners will see tax cuts and indirect taxation on cigarettes will be reduced to a more efficient level in order to decrease its negative externalities on poorer families and dairy owners. The Partnership Schools program instated in the previous government will continue, ensuring the further success of this ACT policy. As Minister of Health and Regulatory Reform, I will see to it that inefficiencies in the country’s system of District Health Boards is reduced, with the number cut from 31 to 6 to help improve coverage and decrease costs. Still, let there be no illusions around the independence of ACT in this government - we will stand up for our values and while we will seek co-operation with Labour and the Greens, will not hesitate to oppose legislation that will further disadvantage the Kiwi taxpayer. Thank you all.”

/u/fartoomuchpressure returns to the lectern to speak.

“It is exciting to lead a new government. The Labour Party has a broad policy platform, of which we hope to implement large amounts. The nature of coalitions is compromise, and we fully embrace this reality. While the Labour Party represents a large number of New Zealanders, we do not represent everyone. We plan swift action of the areas of common ground we have with the Green and ACT parties.”

“All three parties in this government have agreed that we need action on housing, criminal justice reform, and restructuring to the tax system to make things fairer for New Zealanders. Our government will loose building and zoning regulation to allow our cities to grow upwards and outwards. Our government will make changes to the criminal justice system, moving the focus towards rehabilitation, rather than spending millions unnecessarily locking people up, when they could be safely returned to society. Our government will implement tax cuts for lower and middle income earners, while partially offsetting this with a 2% Land Value Tax. All of this will level the playing field for New Zealanders.”

“As Prime Minister I will ensure that this is a government for all New Zealanders, a government that is not beholden to the demands of the elite. A government that will seek compromise and common ground, rather than retreating to one end of the political spectrum. A government that responds to the people it governs and governs responsibly. Thank you very much!”

The four leaders return to the centre of the stage and stand together, leaders of a new government.

The full governing agreement may be found here.