This evening, Sir /u/Fresh3001 held a rally in Christchurch in support of /u/FinePorpoise, and attacked the Labour Party candidate /u/TheOWOTriangle. Surrounded by cheering supporters, Sir /u/Fresh3001 held up a sign displaying a big red cross over the face of /u/TheOWOTriangle, with the words 'never again' underneath. Clearing his throat, the former Prime Minister began to address the crowd.

“Good evening Christchurch! Now, you all know of /u/FinePorpoise from his presence in the New Zealand Herald, and his effective criticism of this coalition of chaos. If you don’t know of him, I’m sure you will by the end of this campaign. However, as great a candidate he is, this rally isn’t about him. It’s about his opponent - /u/TheOWOTriangle. This man is perhaps one of the most infamous people in New Zealand politics, especially due to his actions during the ACT-National government.

“When he led United Future, /u/TheOWOTriangle provided confidence and supply to my first government. By the end of the term, I wondered whether entering into such an agreement with him was even worth it, despite his meagre demands. My reflection on this issue was down entirely to his absolute incompetence in Parliament and in government, his failure to vote on a number of key government bills which he had promised to support, and his inability to meet with the government to discuss important issues. He had absolutely no desire to represent his voters in Parliament, let alone handle a ministerial portfolio or help govern the country.

“Eventually, after a nightmarish term, my government was subjected to its greatest trial when /u/TheOWOTriangle merged his party into Labour, thus depriving me of the confidence of the house. Thanks to the new Green Party leader /u/ARichTeaBiscuit, and her absence in Parliament, my government survived a vote of no confidence. But the point is that /u/TheOWOTriangle cannot ever be trusted to be a responsible and competent man in Parliament. He cannot stick to the basic principles of a binding coalition agreement, let alone stay as an independent party for longer than half a term.

“Outside of his incompetence, /u/TheOWOTriangle doesn’t even represent the values of the Labour Party which he looks to serve. He’s a social conservative who doesn’t believe in gay marriage and who prefers tradition to progress. He’s against immigration and doesn’t care about the economy at all, with flexible values depending on who he wants to satisfy. In no way at all is he comparable to the National Party candidate /u/FinePorpoise, an informed and intelligent politician who cares about Christchurch and its issues. If you want solid representation in Parliament, don’t vote for /u/TheOWOTriangle - ever. Vote /u/FinePorpoise.”