The Right Honourable Sir Fresh3001 KNZM today ate hotwings drenched with Kaitaia Fire at a local chicken shop. Conversing with locals and shoving spicy chicken wings in his mouth, Sir Fresh3001 took a moment to stump for /u/FinePorpoise in between pained gulps of milk. One elderly local approached to talk to Fresh, asking about what a National MP for Northland would do for him.

“Well frankly, electing an opposition MP to send a message to this shambolic government is one of the best things a Northland voter could do. Labour clearly takes Northland for granted, and the hollow endorsements of the governing parties just show how little they care. /u/WillShakespeare99 didn’t even bother turning up until well after the campaign started! Meanwhile, /u/Winston_Wilhelmus set foot in Northland for the first time to kick off this by-election and he can’t be trusted to not bugger off back to Aoraki at the first chance he gets. Excuse me.” Sir Fresh took another swig of milk as he continued to munch through the Kaitaia Fire drenched hotwings.

Another person approached, this time a young woman in business attire. She said that she ran a small business which was dependant on low cost imported goods, and was disappointed with the government’s decision to pull out of the CPTPP.

“Well, so am I. The Comprehensive and Progressive Agreement for Trans-Pacific Partnership presented so many great opportunities for New Zealanders and would have contributed billions to our economy, and benefited businesses and consumers alike. Unfortunately the populist panderers in this insidious isolationist government-” Sir Fresh coughed as he choked on a small piece of chicken, before gulping down yet another glass of milk. “So what was I saying? Basically green man = bad.”

Finally, a young New Zealand First supporter approached, asking Sir Fresh3001 why he should vote for /u/FinePorpoise over /u/Winston_Wilhelmus.

“Well, for one thing, /u/FinePorpoise is a Northland local who cares about his community and who will be a strong voice in Parliament. /u/Winston_Wilhelmus cares more about Aoraki than he does Northland, and is only hanging about here because he got kicked out of his own seat. Plus, /u/FinePorpoise would actually make a competent Parliamentarian and policy-maker, unlike Winston “Export Tariff” Wilhelmus who’d rather destroy our export industries, raise taxes massively, and purchase an aircraft carrier than do anything constructive.”

”Wow, I never realised how terribly incompetent /u/Winston_Wilhelmus really was! I’ll definitely be voting National this by-election, and I’ll tell all my friends to do the same.”

“Thanks kiddo.” /u/Fresh3001 continued to eat his hotwings.