as the campaign nears it’s end, imnofox went doorknocking in eastern Hamilton- the half that’s in the Waikato electorate, not the other one, because unlike some candidates, imnofox respects geography

“Kia ora, how are you? I’m imnofox, co-leader of the Green Party, out here campaigning for our local candidate in the Waikato by-election, KilroyNZ.”

”Oh hi, I’d almost forgotten about the election. Last election I voted for Cenarchos, because he said he was an environmentalist.”

“Unfortunately, Cenarchos did absolutely nothing to protect Waikato’s environment, despite being the National Minister for Conservation. The reality is that the National Party and the rest of this government have absolutely zero regard for environmental sustainability. Kilroy is absolutely committed to environmental sustainability. He has campaigned for years on stopping mining on the Karangahake conservation land. The National Party has long allowed this mining to take place, despite the loud community opposition.”

”That’s a real shame. But doesn’t this government say they’re setting a goal for clean rivers?”

“They say they are, but that’s just empty rhetoric. It’s easy to set such targets, but meeting them is something else, and is proving to be too hard for this government. The reality is, they have absolutely no plan to meet any such target, and their record has only taken back any progress made by Green-Labour governments. In the last term, we introduced $621 million worth of investment into sustainable farming, including hundreds of millions towards cleaning up our rivers. Yet the National Party, with both the Minister for the Environment and Minister for Primary Industries, abolished all that funding, including the necessary tree planting grants to curb our emissions. This is all while tens of thousands of people get sick every year from Waikato’s waterways, such as the river right through the middle of Hamilton. Only the Greens, and only KilroyNZ, have any credibility on protecting our environment and cleaning up our rivers.”

”That makes the choice very clear. Thanks for chatting, but I’ve got to go to an appointment now. Good luck!”

“Thank you, have a good day!”

imnofox hopped back on his scooter, and scote to the next house

“Hi there, I’m imnofox, co-leader of the Greens. We’re out here in Hamilton today, campaigning for KilroyNZ in the upcoming by-election. How goes it?”

”Hi! It’s great to see you! I moved here from the Philippines in 2012, and I’ve always voted ACT because of their welcoming attitudes to immigrants, something I haven’t always seen from parties like Labour or New Zealand First. But, ah, after seeing them in cahoots with the Reform Party to drastically cut immigration by a third, I just feel betrayed. So I really don’t know who to vote for.”

“That’s a fair question, and I get your struggle. I was shocked to see Reform, National, and the Liberals to band together to slash our immigration levels by a third. What message does that send to our valuable immigrant communities? We’re also seeing them raise the english language requirements- which is almost racial profiling of new immigrants by stealth. That’s unacceptable, and it goes against everything the Greens stand for. Up until recently, TOP thought that similar reductions in immigration were a good idea, forgetting that immigrants are people, not just economic units. Who knows what those Socialists think! I’m proud that the Greens are the only party in this race who can credibly stand up for immigrants, in firm opposition to the anti-immigrant policies of this coalition government.”

”Hmm, I’ve never voted for the Greens before, but in many ways i’m a single issue voter. Thanks for standing up for immigrants like me.”

“You’re totally welcome, it’s about absolute basic decency. I’d better move on now, but thanks for the chat.”

imnofox hopped back on his scooter, and zoomed round the corner to the next home

“Hiya, my name is imnofox, out on the campaign trail to help KilroyNZ get elected as the new MP for Waikato. How are you this afternoon?”

”Uh, I’m well. Who are you?”

“Oh, I’m the Green Party co-leader, former Prime Minister, and current Leader of the Opposition.”

”Ooooh, you! Heck, I voted for you! I love the goddamn trees! Hell yeah! Why are you here though?”

“Soon enough, there’s a by-election. In a couple of days, actually. We’re standing a great candidate by the name of KilroyNZ. Can we count on your vote?”

”Hell yeah! I never miss an opportunity to vote Green!”

“That’s great to hear. It’s all thanks to committed voters like you that we get to make real Green change. Just yesterday, our bill to protect World Heritage Sites from mining was passed into law. That’s the kind of wins Greens can get you.”

”Ahahaha, sweet! I’m gonna have to get back to my playstation, my friend. Care to join me?”

“Sorry mate, I’ve got some votes to try win. Maybe next time, eh?”

”Sure, next time. Take it easy!”

imnofox snapped his scooter in two, and walked to the next house

“Hi there, i’m imnofox, your friendly neighbourhood Green Party co-leader. I’m out here, campaigning to elect KilroyNZ as your new Green MP for Waikato. How are you?”

”Oh, I sure am well. I was just wondering- what are you gonna do about the TPPA? I voted National last election, because they were so strongly against that deal. I’m not sure what’s happening with that deal now, and it really concerns me.”

“You have every right to be concerned about the TPPA, and you should be. National campaigned strongly against the TPPA, calling it a threat to our workers, our people, our business, and our sovereignty. They said they’d make it a bottom line in coalition negotiations. But when it came down to it, both National and Reform threw out their principles and let the Liberals tread all over them, forcing them to support that disastrous ‘trade’ deal. The Greens have always stood against the TPPA, ever since we heard about the secret texts terms and terms ago. If you want to vote against the TPPA, then you’ve got to vote for KilroyNZ. National sold us out. Reform sold us out. We don’t know where TOP stands, and they have as much chance as the Socialists of winning. If you want to stop the TPPA, then a vote for the Greens this by-election is a vote to say no to this dangerous and destructive deal.”

”Oh, that’s very reassuring. The Nats have really disappointed me with their lies on the campaign trail. It’s a shame not all candidates see the danger of this deal like Kilroy. He’s got my vote now.”

“I’m so glad to hear that. If you’ve any more questions, feel free to email my office, and I’ll get straight back to you. I’ve got to go now, there’s like a billion more houses to get through, and I do want to get to bed at some point! Have a great night, ma’am.”

”You too! Good luck!”

imnofox went to every house in Hamilton on this side of the river, before collapsing in a bush, at which point an aide covered his tired body in a warm blanket