The first official campaign event for /u/silicon_based_life, Opportunities Party candidate for the Whanganui electorate, is held in the corner of Victoria Park, near central Whanganui. As the town namesake for the electorate, silicon_based_life has chosen his first, symbolic event to be there. The event is being recorded and livestreamed online, to many more followers from across the country. A small crowd is gathered, wearing teal clothes and holding up signs in support. There is no stage, but the candidate is flanked by tall banner and speaks into an old microphone.

“Thank you all so very much for coming. I drove down here last night from Taupō, my old and now new town of residence, and I cannot wait to travel the countryside of Whanganui. The land in this region is incredibly diverse – from the productive King Country in the north, to the industrious Taranaki; in the centre of the electorate, the reclusive Forgotten Highway intersects a wealth of National Forest Parks: Whanganui and Pureora being the wealthiest of these. In the beautiful Taupō region, an immense, royal lake claims tender over the splendour of the land, overlooked by towering mountains that form a dominant guardpost, along with Mt Taranaki, to the cultural, environmental, and capital riches of the Whanganui electorate. Barely even the Southern Alps can lay claim to the sparse majesty of these lands, and here we are, in the township of Whanganui itself, the gate that leads to this wondrous spectacle of nature and humanity.”

Some cheers from the crowd, and someone erupts into tears at the beauty they find in /u/silicon_based_life’s well-endowed words.

“A cursory glance from a plane, or from one of our 4 electorate peaks, may make it seem as if peace lies over this land. However, this is not the case. The sheer vigour of the land does not translate into wealth and happiness for the people of Whanganui – or nay, even of the country in general. Turangi, Tokoroa, Ohura, Ohakune, Patea, Taumaranui – what do these words, these towns, conjure to the minds eye when uttered? The neglected places, the hidden places – even certain suburbs within our high-earning cities like New Plymouth, Cambridge, Taupō – these locations recall thoughts of poverty, gangs, regional desertion. Despite living in an economic system theoretically designed to enhance the living standards and economic success of all people at a fundamental level, it has had the opposite effect. People are suffering in this electorate, day and day out, when they shouldn’t be.”

Scattered claps as /u/silicon_based_life pauses. The crowd has grown somewhat, but most newcomers don’t look incredibly interested.

“And don’t get me wrong, the major parties have tried their hardest to fix things. I know many of these MPs. Their heart is in the right place. But oftentimes they’re too shackled to party baggage, or ideology, or the scourge of city living, to see the simple solutions. To see things for how they truly are. And I want to change that. We want to change that. Starting from tomorrow, The Opportunities Party will reveal its improved policy set for the New New Zealand. Ever since we last disbanded, the major parties have put in place several new policies – some promising, some not so promising. We’ve needed to change our agenda to reflect the evidence required in a new setting. In particular, our tax policy has been affected. The expertise of TimeWalker102 has also brought new policy credibility to the party and our immigration policy reflects that. All in all, The Opportunities Party still sees the ways in which to steadily, incrementally improve the conditions for New Zealanders. And that starts right here, in Whanganui.”

The crowd looks on expectantly.

“So how about the policy details I can give you? I’ll give some sneaky hints. Taranaki relies hugely on two industries: Extraction, and farming. The King Country contains some of the iconic rolling farming hills of rural New Zealand, and farming culture is at some of it’s strongest across the country. But with farms comes the potential for pollution, the potential for environmental affliction on the environment. The Opportunities Party is by no means about to go punishing debt-ridden farmers for things they cannot control, and we recognise that many farmers are already taking numerous steps to reduce their environmental pollution. Our environmental policy will involve working alongside and rewarding farmers, such as those which populate this electorate, to reduce their nutrient runoff into waterways, and to de-intensify their stock so that they become more resistant to events such as drought and recession. As for the extraction industry, we recognise that this is key to Taranaki’s survival and has no current alternative. Therefore, we will offset the local environmental effects off extraction in Taranaki with the creation of protected zones in less resource-intensive, more touristy locations in New Zealand. And of course, our tax scheme and rent policy will help young people in the region, locked out of jobs and personal financial growth, get on their feet and stay in the Whanganui electorate. More details to come on all this later!”

The crowd variously nods and muses on the sparse policy details given to them by silicon_based_life.

“Now, I suppose I have forgotten to tell you something important. You need to know who I actually am if you want to vote for me! I come from simultaneously an environmental background, working for DOC in Taupō after I left school. I studied business and economics at Waikato University, combining my environmental expertise with business acumen to advise local Landcorp farms on sustainable development. This netted me a job in the public sector, and I moved to Wellington, away, sadly, from the green pastures and rolling forests of home. So I’ve been all over, and I’ve seen it all. I may have a apparently decisive background in sectors conveniently relevant to the job I’m campaigning for, but the main thing I’ve learnt over my years in this country and others is that there’s always more to learn. So, for the next two hours, I will be running a workshop right here in Whanganui, talking to all you lovely locals and finding out what some key issues in the area are. It will enable me to hit the ground running when I’m elected here at the end of the week, hey?”

Laughter from the crowd. Suddenly, a tall bearded man runs up to /u/silicon_based_life with a laptop open. He shows the candidate the screen, and suddenly silicon_based_life’s eyes light up.

“Everyone! I have brilliant news! The preliminary polling for Whanganui has just been released, and it turns out I already have the support of, apparently, 20% of people in the electorate!” Whoops from the crowd, and the mood becomes more jovial.

“You wouldn’t have known it from this crowd, however! Haha. Everyone here supporting me today, you are absolutely legends. Let’s win this for The Opportunities Party, let’s win this for you, and let’s win this for New Zealand! We will bring moderate, radical, well-researched policy back to Parliament. Now, time for that workshop.”

Cheers as /u/silicon_based_life finishes speaking, and he joins the crowd in walking to a long nearby table, set out under a tattered marquee. The first of many local workshops will now begin.