I have no idea what Im doing.. So I've decided to turn to the experts. Wiki How. With pictures.

How to write a personal ad.

Step 1. Solicit descriptions of yourself from third parties.

My mom. "What are you asking me, a description of you? Brown hair, blue eyes, chubby. Have I told you that I stopped eating sweets after 8pm, you should try it. Oh. Um. You're tall? I don't know what else..."

My Best Friend "Do you mean physically? Or like mentally? Because you know just as well as I do how weird you are. I'd have to say you're probably the sweetest, kindest, nicest person I know. Anyone would be lucky to have you"

Another friend "Why do you keep doing this? Um, I'd probably talk about how funny and witty you are. Maybe include some information about how fucking dumb you are. You've gotta add how geeky you are. That might be a deal breaker, you've gotta prep people to listen about Star Wars or D&D for hours on end. "

My ex husband "Uh, what? No thank you. No one wants to hear what I have to say about you. I promise. Just tell them that I said you're a great mom"

My dentist "You definitely haven't been flossing"

Step 2. Offer objective information first.

Age - 40. Height - 5 foot 8 inches. Body Type - Curvy Eye Color - Blue Hair Color - Brown Number of children - 2 plus a rescue. Ethnicity/Race - Assorted Crackers

Education - Some? Professional Accomplishments - I've perfected baby talk for boomers Religious Affiliation - None

Step 3. Describe your personality

I've been told I'm a fun, silly person. I try not to take life too seriously. I have more LEGO than I should. Love playing games, I host a board game night for my friends every month. I'm a Nintendo fan girl. And always looking for a new TTRPG group to join. I currently only have 2. I like dancing around at Target when I'm shopping. I adore embarrassing my kiddos at every opportunity. I hobby hop quite a bit. Currently, I’m in my yarn era. Please ask questions. I love info dumping onto people.

I like cooking, reading, going on walks, camping, swimming. I love watching a great movie, or getting really into a new TV show, or rediscovering an old favorite board game. I spend a bit too much time on tiktok. Right now, I'm not watching anything, got a suggestion or two?

Step 4. Include a description of the type of person you are looking for.

Close to my age. In the Minneapolis / St. Paul metro area. I like big boys with beards. Dog owner to the front of the line. Trump supports need not reach out.

I'm looking for a guy who rolled a Nat 20 on his charisma checks. I'm looking for a guy who wants to paint with me. I'm looking for a guy who wants to watch tv with me. I'm looking for a guy who wants to joke and be silly. Lets talk about our favorite mythic beasts and why its mothman. Let's go sniff candles at Bath and Body Works.

Step 5. Be brief.

Oh. Fuck.