The following is from a conversation I had with a woman in such a relationship. I've asked her if i could copy it an she said yes.

I though it was really enlightening and worth post here for some perspective

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"I am currently in a relationship, but before he found me I met so many “want-to-bes. They were quickly identified before any relationship evolved. As for what I need, and I think all natural submissives need, are the following: Consistency, Guidance, Help us identify when we are being emotional rather than rational. Provide a method to help us let go of emotions that we tend to bury with, “I’m fine.” Spankings work best with me as I have issues burdening my Dom with my worries that I know he can’t fix, such as a family member with cancer. The spanking let’s me release the pain I had buried deep in my soul, then during his embrace afterwards reminds me that I can talk to him. That’s been a process and forgive me, I digress.

We need limits and expectations followed by positive reinforcement or controlled consequences, and we will test this to make sure we are still safe. I realize this is not a positive quality, but we do this on rare occasion to make sure the Dom is still “there,” for lack of a better word. We do not seek to be brats at all. However, sometimes if we feel things are inconsistent and conversations are unable to address the concern, we will test it. Just the comment of, “you are testing me,” is all it takes to know our Dom is still present, in control, and we are still protected. Again, I realize this is not a good quality. Still, it goes back to consistency. We know our Doms go through tremendous pressure in day to day life, but we need to know that they are still able to lead. Hopefully this makes sense.

We need to know we are always safe and protected.

As for our doms, we seek to please them in all their needs. We want them to be happy and seek to remove any stress upon them. We want all other men to be jealous of their relationship with us. We want to serve. I know that sounds 1950s, but we feel compelled to make our Dom feel welcomed, loved, and the only person who is able to meet all our needs."