It's not easy being trans, is it?

The constant internal conflict between your inner self and and your outer presentation, takes all of your strength, all of your resolve to bear. Before transitioning, the face looking back at you from your bathroom mirror was a stranger, a taunting facade that reminded you of the mean trick nature played on you. Worse yet was the facade you had to wear before coming out. It was a game you played necessarily, but unwillingly. It's consequences could be traumatizing, life-altering, and in the extreme, maybe even fatal. So, you played it to placate the bias and bigotry and hopefully keep the attention off of you. All the while people around you wondering why you had such a hard time fitting in.

You know all this. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. You've lived it.

What you may not realize is that in spite of all that you've suffered, there is a positive payoff.

It's the joy you will feel once you have come out, when you begin your transition. It's the transgender euphoria you've heard about once you've embraced your inner self fully and started living your true life.

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Researchers, most probably cis, have a hard time understanding how anyone can be happy being transgender.

One study published in August 2024, contained the results of an analysis of "40 in-depth interviews with trans people in which they were asked what they find joyful about being trans."

The persons conducting the study--Stef M. Shuster of Michigan State, and Laurel Westbrook of Grand Valley State--realized four themes emerged in from their analyzation of the interviews.

"First, interviewees easily answered the question about joy. Second, contrary to common assumptions, we found that transgender people expressed joy in being members of a marginalized group and said that they preferred being transgender. Third, embracing a marginalized identity caused the quality of their lives to improve, increasing self-confidence, body positivity, and sense of peace. Finally, being from a marginalized group facilitated meaningful connections with other people."

These perceptions were bolstered by another study of over 500 trans people by the Washington Post and Kaiser Family Foundation, released back in March 2023, which reported that "the vast majority, 78%, of transgender adults are happier after transitioning."

And a much larger sample of 92,329 trans people, utilized by the U. S. Trans Survey of 2022, revealed:

"Nearly all respondents (94%) who lived at least some of the time in a different gender than the one they were assigned at birth (“gender transition”) reported that they were either “a lot more satisfied” (79%) or “a little more satisfied” (15%) with their life."

Their continual surprise reveals an underlying misunderstanding of their subjects. Rather than ask "Why?" transgender people are happier after transition, better they should first ask themselves, "How could they not be happier?"

To the vast majority of cis people who are satisfied with the gender they were assigned with at birth, the concept of gender dysphoria is perceived as a mental problem suffered by a tragic, tiny slice of humanity. Or a wish-dream by those who can't "handle" the expectations of their birth-assigned gender. Or the worst of them simply dismiss us entirely as "perverts" and they're done with it.

What they all share is the inability to understand we are born this way (cue Lady Gaga). If they could understand, then all the misconceived anger and misdirected perceptions would fade away.

Ironically, despite all the public hostility we receive, according to recent studies (those researchers again!) claim that a large percentage of American respondents' "general feelings toward transgender people have become warmer over time and that support for policies related to civil rights has increased to constitute large majorities."

The results of this 2023 University of Minnesota "Gender Policy Report" confirms a lot of the cis public's perception of the transgender community is based upon how they are presented. And it follows that legislation aimed at the trans community is selectively based to influence public opinion and tap into their innate fears.

"The body-centric framing of these policies seems to encourage public opposition to transgender people.  However, as seen in policies that are more clearly understood in terms of civil rights, like nondiscrimination and military service policies, Americans public opinion has the potential to be more supportive when the issue is framed around equity."

Yet another study by the Pew Research Center supports this conclusion.

"The fundamental belief about whether gender can differ from sex assigned at birth is closely aligned with opinions on transgender issues. Americans who say a person’s gender can be different from their sex at birth are more likely than others to see discrimination against trans people and a lack of societal acceptance. They’re also more likely to say that our society hasn’t gone far enough in accepting people who are transgender."

It is clear that the homework assignment for the transgender community writ large, is to seize control of our own destiny by changing the message going out to the general (mostly cis) public. How that's done is by taking back our definition. By not allowing others to create threatening strawtransmen and strawtranswomen out of us. By presenting the positive aspects of letting us live our lives unimpeded, without guidelines and discrimination that would never be tolerated if imposed upon other marginalized people.

That all comes down to the transgender community writ small. Individuals who live their authentic lives positively. Let the world, or even just those people in your circle, know how happy you are now that you've transitioned. Tell them verbally, post it online. Reaffirm it anytime and any place you can.

Winning the hearts and minds of the cis majority comes as a result of them seeing us as human beings. Studies confirm it. And the cold, hard fact is that this is a cis world. We just happen to live in it.

Despite the obstacles that come from being out, I've never been more happy than I am now. Chances are, neither have you. Let the world see that happiness. Let them know how finally conquering the incongruity you were born with, has relieved you of an unbearable burden. Let them know that you achieving relief doesn't take anything away from them.

All you want is the same thing we are all guaranteed in this country. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

That's something most people can understand.

--- Anni 🏳️‍⚧️