Hello everyone my name is Britboy3456 and on my next visit I am going to the land of... checks notes My campaigner manager appears to have written "orange tanned faces and nice big teeth", but I think I'd be stabbed if I say that, so let's go with "the home of Depeche Mode" - Essex.

"Here I am in Essex, wow look at all the tanning salons. How lovely it is here. Wow look at those teeth. Amazing." - again Seph, I don't want to be murdered. Not saying this. Let's go with "so happy to see Rupert Grint's childhood home!".

Oh look who it is, fellow candidate Gigitygigtygoo - what a surprise it is to see you here, how totally unscripted. And guess what, I’m telling people to vote for you!

Vote for Gigitygigtygoo because he is really great and totally knows his stuff and I am told he is our health spokesman

Vote Conservative and vote Gigitygigtygoo ;)