Maroiogog arrives to a lecture theater full of liberal-elitist students waiting for him, a trusted member of a liberal-elitist party for liberal-elitist people to give a liberal-elitist speech.

“Hello, hello. My pleasure to be here amongst you today. Running in Surrey is always a blast and this time is no different. It is an honour for me to be putting forward Turning Point Surrey’s policies and values throughout our county and, hopefully, in the Commons.

What I want to talk to you about today is what my vision for Surrey’s economy is.

The guiding principle of my ideology is that we, as a society, should be judged not by how we treat the better off but the worst off. We need to create an environment in which everyone is in the conditions of being able to harness equal, and plentiful, opportunities.

This means many things.

First of all, a progressive tax system that is able to finance generous benefits. We need to ask those who can afford punitive rates to pay them so that nobody has to skip meals or leave their house to the freezing cold in the winter. It is essential that we redistribute the vast amounts of wealth our country enjoys, so that everyone may benefit from it, not just the people at the top of the pyramid. There is no point in being one of the richest countries on earth if many of us don’t get to sit at the table where it is being given out.

I want to make it clear though, I am not against personal wealth and income. If you work hard and achieve success, good on you, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have a duty to the society which puts you in the position of being able to achieve such success. As such, I also think the morality behind much of the tax avoidance we see happening in the city, too often through crown dependencies, is simply bankrupt. I will always seek to go after those who, through clever tricks, hide their true wealth or income from the treasury.

The same reasoning goes for companies, we need Britain to be the best place to do business and ensure that we have a thriving industrial ecosystem able to generate all the wealth I have been rambling about in the first place.

Secondly, this means services capable of performing their tasks to the fullest extent and support each and every single one of us as and when needed. From our NHS to employment services they all need to be properly funded and run efficiently. I may be a socialist but I sure as hell believe that public money waste is the biggest insult a politician can give to his constituents. We must always recognize the importance of our public services whilst also looking at them with the critical eye of trying to improve the way they are run, operated and delivered.

When I say public services, I mean it. I do not view privatization, or “outsourcing”, the new fancy term for it these days, with a benevolent eye. I want you to be in control of the structures that may one day save your life and educate your children. I want them to be accountable to nobody but the people who elect the governments who manage them and there should be no barriers to entry based on wealth at any point along the process.

This is the only way forward if we want to be a country where everyone is given the same opportunities without postcode lotteries or anything of the sort.

I thank you very much for my attention, and remember to vote for me tomorrow. I hope you will excuse me but I have to go to meet the Viscount of Esher in Elmbridge.