Near the banks of the River Parrett in the Somerset market town of Bridgwater, a small crowd has gathered around a wooden platform

From behind a large oak tree, the Co-Leader of the People’s Unity Party SomeBritishDude26 walks out and onto the stage just a couple of yards in front of the tree

As he steps up onto the podium, the crowd cheers and SomeBritishDude26 takes some time to take in the adulation. He steps behind the podium which is adorned with the logo of the People’s Unity Party.

“Good afternoon, Bridgwater.” he starts

“It’s so nice to see the people of Bridgwater come out in support of the campaign. I’m also very happy to see people from the Labour Club here in support. I’m very grateful for Labour’s support here.”

Cheers and applause comes from a section of the crowd near the front

“It’s so great to be here in this historic town and one with a history of rebellion against the establishment, being the site where the Duke of Monmouth declared himself King during the Monmouth Rebellion in 1685 against King James II, but also one with a historic fealty to the monarchy - to this day celebrating the failure of the Gunpowder Plot.”

SomeBritishDude26 takes a short pause to have a drink of water from a small glass on the podium

“You may be wondering, what can the PUP bring to Bridgwater? As a former industrial town, you know all too well the decline in the local economy over the last few decades. This used to be a prosperous town, famous for its brick production. Now, all that’s gone, replaced by supermarkets, whilst the high street is dying. A core part of our promises this election is the revitalisation of local economies and especially, the high street. Our Community Investment Fund promises to bring life back to the high street, giving small businesses the much needed cash injection they need to survive and thrive in an economy now so dominated by chain supermarkets. If you want to bring the good times back, then there is only one choice this election, and it isn’t the Libertarian Party. They will bring sweeping austerity in a time where those measures are neither needed nor wanted. We are at a decisive time, and we don’t need a far-right government, plunging this country into the deepest austerity measures since the 60s for no reason other than spite. I am your candidate for strength and prosperity, Fried is your candidate for cuts and chaos. You choose which you think is better. Thank you.”

The crowd cheers and chants of “PUP! PUP! PUP!” erupt. SomeBritishDude26 takes in the adulation before stepping down from the stage and into an awaiting taxi.