On a muggy and overcast day in south-east London, bloodycontrary made serene progress across Greenwich Park's viridescent sea of grass to the grating sound of maniacal laughter.

He was supposed to be campaigning, but his mind - imprisoned - wanted to resist the sudden, animalistic drive. It was almost as if his body were controlled by a facsimile voodoo doll into which the puppeteer poured his malice and malintent, causing mere flesh and bone to yearn for a campaign that the mind could not handle.

The buildings on the horizon danced ever closer. Somewhere among the bricks and concrete was his destination. Outside of the primitive urge to get there, he only knew that he was looking for some kind of shitty lectern with a tree on it.

Another wave of laughter rippled across the Park and assaulted his ears. Perhaps 'laughter' wasn't the right word. There was no joy, no real pleasure, in the sound; it was closer to a howl of derision allied to a distinct sense of triumph, with a curious feel that the originator was a furry.

He stepped off the grass and onto the pavement. At the end of the road stood the lectern, framed on either side by the brick and mortar valley created by townhouses, shops and restaurants. His destination was obvious. His mind tried to rebel; he was not fully capable of coherent thought, but he knew the tree symbol fixed to the lectern was something he feared or hated. But no matter. His body lurched forward regardless and approached the lectern.

The laughter came again, this time amplified by its journey between the adjacent buildings. bloodycontrary's body responded mechanically, involuntarily, painfully, and he stood on the dais with a brief but perceptible stumble. Were there faces in front of him? He didn't know, because his mind had shrunk into the deep recesses of his unconscious in a vain effort to ignore what was about to happen.

Still the demonic howling assaulted his ears. All his senses screamed. Internally, what was left of his mind shook and quivered in terror, unable to accept what was happening but knowing its inevitability.

Finally the laughter stopped.

bloodycontrary cleared his throat.

"Hello, Greenwich. I am bloodycontrary, and I am the Conservative Party candidate for south east London."