Another day, and it was another campaign event in Oxfordshire and Berkshire. Windsor was this afternoon’s venue for the Green Party bandwagon, except there wasn’t much of a band. What there was this time was a crowd - party grandees just hoped another royal pregnancy hadn’t been announced.

After trying and failing to find a modern example of a guillotine, a stall was set up outside the gates of Windsor castle. This was a well publicated speech and there was press in attendance, and no, it wasn’t just Private Eye.

‘This is a castle. What do you think of when you think of castles? Knights and romance? Boiling tar? This is medieval stuff, surely, that building is of no use to modern day defences. So I would posit the exact same question of relevance for the institution that it embodies. Not on financial grounds - but on those of morality.

Certainly, a Presidency, ceremonial, of course, could cost more or less or just the same as a Monarchy - this is a matter of governmental decisions, not choice of political system. The arguments surrounding tourism also make little sense to me - does no one visit Caserta or the Hermitage? Certainly, even as an average citizen of London your chance of every seeing Her Majesty is about as likely as winning the Olympic 100m sprint whilst in shackles. No one is coming to Britain in an attempt to get her autograph.

Now - that money would be better spent to support the duties of a first citizen - something we could all aspire too. It needs not disturb our politics - it can be as low key as Germany - a technocrat not facing popular election. The best choice for Britain. Morally too, why should birthright give you anything in the modern, 21st century multicultural world. Will we ever have a Muslim king?

I believe that we should all be able to rise as far as our talents and hard work will take us - true social mobility must reach all the way to the top. The elite of the elite. Only a meritocratic presidency ensures the prime quality of British leadership. I want someone from a council estate to rise, not into politics, but to be our head of state. Lets get rid of the royals!

No country with a divine bloodline can honestly claim to be a democracy - it is the ultimate embodiment of ancient privilege. A direct line from Robert de Brus does not a good democracy make. I note that French name - we’ll come back to that in a bit - bonjour. But yes - has any country ever gone from republic to a democratically instituted Monarchy? I think not.

If anyone can send me evidence i’ll give you a fiver - but also deport you to my cobalt mining colony in the Congo. I seem to think the atrocities their were carried out by wait for it - a king!!!

Now yes - the french. They killed their royals and it didn’t do them any harm - the ideals of a revolution to be savoured.’

Walking off his crate - a march through the town of supporters commenced

‘Allons, enfants de la patrie…’