/u/Youmaton launched their campaign for the seat of Lanarkshire and the Borders this evening at a local event in Dumfries. Despite the weather, locals and supporters are excited to hear the address from /u/Youmaton*, whom enters stage right to a stage of red. After shaking hands and taking some selfies, they reach the podium and begins to address the crowd*

“Good evening all, and thank you for coming to the beginning of a movement. Already we have seen the power of the red wave, the determination and passion that drives us from day to day, the energy in our resistance to the failed Tory-Libertarian government, and the unity through solidarity as we fight for a better home. Throughout this term, we have seen a stark difference across the chamber, a key insight into what is shown this election. From the government we have seen the utter chaos of a fractured coalition that had to bribe its way into passing a budget, a Secretary of State for Scotland whose comments were subject outright condemnation, and constant attacks upon our National Health Service which has damage lives all across Scotland. From the opposition on the other hand, we have seen the strong leadership of u/Secretary_Salami leading to the rise in our polling, active and dedicated politicians whom serve with the utmost care and diligence, and a united team who are constantly fighting for the rights of all. We now face a choice as a nation to decide our future between two stark ancient foes, as a nation we must recognise this choice and unify in the national interest, because we know that Britain deserves better.”

“Though I have not been in politics for a long time, through my tenure as your MP for Lanarkshire and the Borders as well as through my work within Holyrood as MSP and Scottish Labour Leader, I have fought to restore confidence in politics and ensure that our local community is never left behind. When the coalition of chaos sought to attack our healthcare system, threaten the lives of so many around the nation, I fought back hard against these attacks. When the Libertarians introduced the joke that was the ‘Freedom of Expressions’ bill, which sought to legalise hate speech according to the Libertarians themselves, I treated this threat as it was and fought back. This election within Lanarkshire and the Borders we face many candidates who seek to represent this wonderful community, with both members of the coalition of chaos running ministers within our constituency.”“So far, only one other candidate has even been seen around, however his actions as of late are nothing short of dangerous. Through twitter, the Libertarian candidate openly endorsed the privatization of prisons, labelling them as ‘nice’. It astonishes me that any elected official in Britain, yet alone a minister, endorses an inhumane system purely to try and make a little bit of money, it is disgusting that the Libertarian candidate refuses to realise the damage that private prisons have caused across the world. The point of prison is of punishment and rehabilitation, to ensure that the person who committed a crime not only learns a lesson from their actions, but is given assistance to break them out of an endless loop that sadly too many people fall into. Throughout the world, we have seen countless cases of the companies who run private prisons putting human lives at risk for the sake of profits, lowering standards and sizes of food to the point of near starvation, arbitrary punishments leading to solitary confinement, minimal guard rotation and staffing, all just some examples of what privatised prisons cause. Just as in the case of education and healthcare, prisons should never be privatised!”

“This is what we face this election and throughout the next parliament, greens and tories who are not even bothered to show up to campaign, and a Libertarian who threatens human lives and talks about elves. We must work together as a community to overcome these challenges, and demand a better future for Lanarkshire and the Borders, a future that we can all believe in. Together we save the NHS from the hands of the Libertarians, together we shall fight for our human rights, together we shall demand a government that cares for us and for the future. Too long the Tories and Libertarians have taken advantage of the people of Scotland, too long they have neglected our needs, too long they have insulted us with a Secretary of State who brought upon international shame, too long they have told us to merely accept the poor situation. It is alright to speak up, it is alright to fight back, it is alright to be annoyed, because I sure am! We must rise against this government, and send a clear message at the ballot box this election, because Britain deserves better!”

The audience goes wild, with most of the crowd shouting ‘Britain Deserves Better’, some of the crowd shouting ‘Youma, Youma, Youma!’, and one group shouting ‘Youmardern, Youmardern, Youmardern!’. The fight for Lanarkshire and the Borders had begun.