After yesterday's dramatic and highly-effective bicycle-based metaphor, the WLA candidate for South Wales Central travelled down to the seaside resort of Barry, to play on the arcades and eat cake.

"That wanker has clearly glued his fucking coconuts to the stand, I twatted that one and it barely moved! Get over here you dirty fucking p-"

the candidate noticed the press pack, cameras and gaggle of supporters watching him with a mixture of disgust and curiosity

"Oh, uh, no harm done! We're all friends here aren't we!

"Ahem

"Actually, this coconut incident allows me to make another tedious metaphor, which I doubt even comped will bother reading!

"I was there, a month or two after the Senedd opened, when we were all full of hope, and the Liberals had a great legislative agenda, which Labour were planning to support.

"But what happened instead? Labour allowed themselves to be taken over by a couple of opportunists with terrible records, and they left to form a coalition with Plaid. This wasted weeks as the Senedd had to debate and vote on a new leader.

"So Labour has their Welsh Government, and did naff all with it. Nothing. Nada. And, as literally everybody, except apparently Labour and Plaid, predicted, the opportunists in the Labour Party abandoned Wales and the WLA had to pick up the pieces.

"This is why Liberals are best for Wales. We're not psychopathic like the Libertarians, or trite and horrible like the Tories, or hugely incompetent like Labour and Plaid. We have a creative agenda we know how to implement.

"So, the coconut glued - yes, mate, it's fucking glued to the stand - to the stand is a metaphor for what happens to the Senedd when the WLA is not in charge. No movement and frustration for everyone except the arseholes in charge.

"Make sense? Good, let's get some candyfloss."