A sellout crowd of 34,835 packed into Hillsborough has turned out on a Wednesday afternoon to list to former MP for South Yorkshire, Muffin5136. Given the deity-like support for Muffin, fans from local rivals Sheffield United have put rivalries aside to listen to the political heavyweight speak.

Stood in the middle of the pitch, Muffin begins a bold speech with just a microphone to send his voice around the stadium, touching the hearts of every person in the stadium.

“Well, I'm back, and I'm ready to be here for you. I understand that my actions in the last few terms have been a shock and a surprise, but one thing as been a constant through it all, a drive to deliver for people. I have been driven to deliver for the people of the United Kingdom, to deliver them a life that is better than they had previously, a life that has more choice and more freedom. I know it has been a while since I last stood here in Sheffield to be the MP of South Yorkshire, but I can say now that I am far changed and improved than the naive and shiny MP that stood before you.

You may notice I have an orange rosette on, a bit different to the colours of recent years I have stood on, but a colour I believe in, a colour that represents a Liberal future, a future that you can be proud of, a future free from the missteps of recent Government's. We have seen the last few Government's show how not to lead a nation, but soon with the steady hand of the Liberal Democrats at the wheel, we will see calm prevail again. We will see prosperity again, as a Liberal Democrat Government brings back fiscal responsibility back to the British Government, after years of reckless spending and record high taxes. We will ensure you get to keep more of your income than ever before, as rather than give out money just to tax you for it, as under the current Government regime, we will implement reforms to raise the personal allowance, meaning you keep more of your pay packet than ever before, all while protecting the vulnerable in society. Its time for a future where you get to keep your hard earned money, rather than it be spent on wasteful programmes that do nothing to benefit your lives, just in the sake of a vanity project.

Now then, future, that's a big word and a big loaded concept, as none of us have the magic mirror ball to see into the future, and if I did, then I certainly would be using it to work out what's going on with Wednesday these days. But what I can do is work to set us up for a successful future, with a plan to overhaul education in ways not seen for decades, as we look to revolutionise the classroom to ensure students all get a fair chance in life, through greater focuses on skills for a modern economy, including foreign language learning, proven to improve outcomes for our kids, along with a push for greater digital literacy to make sure the children of these great lands get a real chance, as we end the postcode lottery that has seen the Government favour kids across the South for too long.

It's time we gave them a rude awakening and get a proper Liberal in office and march on Parliament with the demands for an orange future, and orange future where everyone gets a fair shot in life, regardless of where they're from, and particularly for the fine people of Sheffield, who I've been proud to support year after year, and who I'm ready to come home to after time spent away.

It is time for a innovative and forward facing Government, led from the front by bold ideas rather than the mild and meek we have seen lead in recent times, a truth I've been too sad to watch go by. But with the Liberal Democrats this election, we have a real chance to build on the momentum we've built to deliver true change and a voice for you, we've proven across the last term the progress we can make, and we certainly aren't finished with the job yet. You may have seen party representatives and party leaders try and scare you with their anti-Liberal project fear, but fear not, we're here to really fight for you, it's clear the establishment is scared of losing their position, which as far as I've always known, means we're on the right track! This election, don't write off the mighty Lib Dems as we're here to really take charge and lead instead of stand to the side and watch the chaos ensue.

That's the pledge I give to you, and whilst I can't promise much when it comes to survival from relegation, I can promise that the people of Sheffield won't be relegated and ignored by Government, as we will deliver for you, ensuring your kids get a brighter future, and you get to be proud of the country and your paycheck once again. I am here to be a #ProPeople MP, here for you, here for us, hear forever. For a bold future, vote Lib Dem, vote Muffin!!”