Radio host (RH): And now, once again, for some reason, we have Muffin5136 here as a guest to discuss something to do with an upcoming election here in Northern Ireland. As you all know, we have an election for representation in Stormont coming up on Friday, and as we are contractually bound to do so when they are involved in an election here, we have Muffin as a guest. They have previously stood in Stormont elections for the Ulster Workers Party, whatever Labour's Northern Ireland Party was called a year ago, and the Potato Raving Loony Party just last time out, whilst they have also stood as a candidate for the Westminster seat here just a couple of months ago for the Muffin Raving Loony Party. Now, here they sit as a leading member of the Ulster Borders Party, so, Muffin, what brings you to being a member of the UBP now?

Muffin: Well, first, thank you for that lovely introduction, it has always been my pride to be a strong voice in Northern Ireland, having always ran here, and having been Infrastructure Minister across multiple terms. Today I find myself in the Ulster Borders Party, a party which I joined shortly after the last Stormont election, a decision I am proud to have made, even if the Assembly Speakership and establishment barred us from taking our rightful place in the Executive. I am proud to be a true voice for Unionism in Northern Ireland, a voice that has sadly been lacking in recent years, but under Gregor_The_Beggar, I have been proud to serve a leader truly committed to the Unionist cause. The UBP has been the only party across the last term to hold the Executive to account, as it has gone through a revolving door of members, with countless First Ministers and deputy First Ministers, all placed into positions of power without the people having their say. The Good Friday Agreement was one that brought peace to Northern Ireland, whilst at the same time showing the peaceful and productive future Northern Ireland could have as a vital part of the United Kingdom.

RH: now then, you speak a lot about Unionism, but what would the UBP actually do to represent this cause other than the rhetoric you present?

Muffin: well, for starters, the UBP has made a strong commitment to preventing further devolution, as we have seen the madness of recent Executive's, each desperate for more powers to be unnecessarily devolved to Northern Ireland, as an attempt to damage the vital relationship between Stormont and Westminster. It is a shame to have seen the devolved settlement become such a political football for dangerous Nationalist politicians to play with as they see fit. Only the UBP will rise and take a stand against this never-ending march to Independence through the backdoor. We would work to achieve a more sensible block grant agreement, where Westminster is able to inject sustainable and relevant investment into specific projects across Northern Ireland for the betterment of people, rather than a system of subsidising Executive excess and poor fiscal management, as shown by the extreme defecit the most recent Executive has decided to put upon our economy. That is what the UBP would do, protect devolution and protect our economy.

RH: on the topic of the economy then, does the UBP have any plans for getting the Northern Irish economy moving again?

Muffin: I'm really glad you asked, as the UBP is in fact the only party to have a solid plan to tackle the economic crisis the last Executive have left us in, as the dangerous and the ideologically lacking Labour Northern Ireland Party have plunged us into a deficit through poor and negligent fiscal planning. As a result, the UBP would ensure to undertake an audit of all spending currently in place and look to cut out the waste and bloat currently in place, whilst ensuring essential services receive the funding they require. Furthermore, we would invest directly in the economy of North Ireland through the creation of rail depots for building the necessary infrastructure and rolling for Northern Ireland's railways here in Ulster, rather than spending money abroad needlessly. We would further protect jobs via a war on AI and automation at the same time as a manufacturing commission to revitalise this once proud industry.

RH: That is certainly a bold plan you have there, thank you for your time to talk through it, now are there any last words you wish to share today?

Muffin: thank YOU for the time you've given me to talk through the choice facing Northern Ireland at this election, where on one hand you have the continued chaos of the mainstream parties, composed of dangerous Nationalists, dangerous Nationalists calling themselves "Other", and then half-hearted Unionists propping up these failing parties. On the other hand, you have the choice to vote for Ulster, and the future of of our proud land, that is in need of protection from dangerous forces that have brought economic destruction to Ulster. This election, vote for the only party that has stood up for you this term against an out of control Executive, vote for the party that will get to work for you, vote for the Ulster Borders Party.