LightningMinion began the day by convening a meeting of the newly formed East Anglia Constituency Labour Party where electoral strategy was discussed.

LightningMinion then cycled to Midsummer Common, where he met with the cows grazing grass in the park and pointed out to them how the deputy leader of the Labour Party is also a cow, which instantly convinced the cows to vote for the Labour Party. He then gave a speech outside the Fort Saint George pub in the park to some people, with some cows turning up to listen as well:

“The question which has been most on our minds for the past year has been “Will I be able to pay my bills?” As a Labour Party politician, it is my duty to stand up for ordinary folk like you, and hence working to tackle the cost of living crisis has been the greatest priority for me. The Labour Party worked with the government to pass budget measures to tackle the crisis, such as freezing the energy price cap to protect households from exorbitant energy bills, increasing basic income payments to increase the budgets of households on the lowest incomes, and drastically slashing public transport fares. The Conservatives criticised us for supporting a government budget; but if you’re struggling to pay your bills, you want help, not unnecessary political bickering as to how exactly the official opposition should behave.

A Labour government will continue the measures enacted last term to tackle the cost of living crisis, and we will go further by making our system of basic income universal so that everyone has a safety net they can fall back onto should they run into financial difficulties for any reason, be it rising prices, losing their job, going back to education, or any other reason.

It is not only us who are suffering. The grass here is currently nice and green and the cows are loving it, but during last summer’s sweltering temperatures, I think we can all recall how yellow and sad the grass looked here and at Parkers’ Piece as it was starved of water by the heat wave. Grass is a resilient plant and it withstood last year’s record temperatures, but not all of nature will withstand the climate crisis. I’ve been watching David Attenborough’s new series Wild Isles, which has shown how wildlife in the UK simply isn’t adapted to a warming world. Just one example is Atlantic Salmon. The salmon usually live in I would presume the Atlantic Ocean, but they visit our rivers to lay their eggs. They need cold and clean rivers in which they can lay their eggs, but increasingly rivers in Britain are fulfilling neither criteria. The population of salmon is in free fall, and the fish could disappear from our seas and rivers in as little as 20 or 30 years. We simply cannot afford to lose salmon: they are a vital component of our marine ecosystems, and they are also nice on a slice of bread for dinner. In fact, I’ve heard that the Scotland Secretary is a big salmon addict.

I said that we could lose salmon in 20 to 30 years. However, that is if we fail to enact ambitious climate policy. The United Nations recently warned that climate change is already wreaking havoc on our planet, but its report also made clear we already have all the technologies needed to tackle the climate crisis. And that is what a Labour government will do.

As the Shadow Climate Change Secretary, I successfully campaigned for the government to announce a plan to phase out all gas-powered power stations by the end of the decade. A Labour government will go further to ensure that we are able to fully decarbonise the national grid. One key alternative to burning gas and coal is nuclear power. It is safe, it is efficient, and it is reliable; and it will play an important part in decarbonising the energy industry. Solidarity and the Social Liberals have dithered on this topic and have refused to fund new nuclear power projects. When I asked the Social Liberal Energy Secretary if they believe that we can decarbonise the energy industry without relying on nuclear power, especially as by the end of the decade, all but one of our nuclear power stations will have been retired, I didn’t get an answer. A Labour government will, however, be proactive on this issue and will invest in nuclear power, including in the new Sizewell C power station, along with renewables, such as building new solar panels on top of our car parks, homes and buildings to make the decarbonisation of our energy industry feasible while guaranteeing the security of our energy supply.

This investment into green energy will be achieved through a new nationalised energy agency, Great British Energy, allowing a Labour government to better invest in green energy, while also allowing energy bills to be kept low so that we can all afford to heat our homes.

This Thursday, vote to build a fairer Britain which is fit for you and will be fit for the next generation. Vote Labour!”

LightningMinion then cycled to the Market where he joined an anti-Brexit rally outside the Guildhall. He gave the following speech at the rally:

“When the UK voted to leave the EU, the true effects of our exit were not known. However, now that we have now been outside the EU for a few years, we've experienced its true effects.

Brexit has been a disaster. It has been a disaster for businesses for whom importing and exporting products is important as Brexit has saddled them with excessive red tape and paperwork. It has been a disaster for Cambridge’s science sector by restricting access to EU scientific institutions. And it has been disastrous for the immigration system. I’ve met many people across the city who simply wouldn’t have moved here were it not for EU freedom of movement rules allowing seamless migration to the UK. Brexit has quite simply been disastrous for Cambridge.

Last term, the Labour Party proposed a referendum on rejoining the EU’s simple market to eliminate trade barriers between the UK and the EU, to return UK participation in EU institutions, and to return freedom of movement rules. However, Solidarity joined the Conservatives in voting down our referendum bill; and the SLP, who made rejoining the EEA their core policy, chose to form a pro-Brexit government and failed to use their place within government to reverse the damage caused by Brexit.

A Labour government will continue to advocate for a referendum on EEA membership, and we will seek further integration with EU institutions to undo the damaging effects of Brexit.”

Following the rally, LightningMinion hopped on his bike and cycled to the nearby village of Oakington, where he talked to some confused locals about buses:

“3 years ago I was here to ride Cambridge’s first electric buses between central Cambridge and Oakington. The buses were modern, quiet and comfortable, but most importantly, as signs on the sides of the buses loudly proclaim, they are zero emission. The 2 electric buses which have been carrying passengers from Oakington and Girton into the city, and from the park and ride sites to the city centre, will be joined by 30 new electric buses this May thanks to work in local government by the Labour Party. A Labour government will build on this by bringing electric buses to all parts of England’s bus network by placing an order for hundreds of new electric buses.”

LightningMinion then decided to head home, leaving the locals very confused as to why their local Labour candidate turned up for a minute to discuss only electric buses.