I'm entirely new to this. Probably can't even say that much, I'm seeking to be new. But in all my searching I've noticed that couples seem to prefer to have a regular influx of new men to add to their beds.

I'm not judging them at all, whatever floats your boat!

But I suspect for them the kink is actually, novelty. In a perfect world, I'd probably be into it, too. But this isn't a perfect world. There's emergent strains of antibiotic resistant chlamydia and gonorrhea (you can have these for life, now). There's HPV and herpes. And not least of all, HIV. And I see the posts, hell, it's my kink too, cumplay is a big part of this kink/lifestyle. I don't think the average guy or couple is on any of those medications that reduce the risk of spreading these infections.

Sexy, right? I know.

But I think of myself as a regular guy who happens to be very interested in my own health. I made it to my late 30s without a single STD, ever. And I'd like to keep it that way.

For that reason, I'm only ever searching for a couple who I can be their "permanent" third. As in they're not entertaining any other men (or women) as long as I'm in the picture. I'd love to make it a quartet where the women can fuck each other, either guy, or both guys, but that just seems more difficult to put together. Bottom line though, it's not me, and, and, and, and ...

So how do you all navigate this? And don't say condoms because 90% of the pictures, nobody is wearing one and the #1 thing here is "used his cum as lube." And I have yet to read anyone's story where they took a beat for everyone to get tested.

Why can't couples just be like "yeah, we have one guy that she plays with and that's enough?" 🥺

Maybe that seems too much like a relationship? IDK. I'm not trying to steal anyone's wife. The exact reason I want to deal with her is I know she's getting fucked by someone else, why would I want to close her off from the one man I trust her with? I'm happy just being used in the bedroom, but I'm also open to some kind of relationship outside of that, too. She and I should be able to kick it and not fuck, just have some laughs or whatever. Honestly, taking the pressure away from performing, has always enhanced it in my experience. If she comes over like "hey I want to check out this new movie with you" and her panties end up across the room, that's probably going to be more fun than her slamming the door open demanding to get fucked. Or maybe all three of us take a tropical vacation, one day me and her go out, another day he and her, another day he and I. That'd be the dream but by no means, not the requirement, I can just be a "bedroom buddy" and be perfectly content with that.