Has anyone else noticed that their partner will sometimes do things with a third that they don’t do with you? For example, my wife can’t stand me kissing her neck—it just tickles too much, no matter how passionate we are. But recently, during a session with our third, he went for her neck, and not only did she let him, but later she even pulled him closer by the hair to keep going. When I asked her about it, she just said it happened in the moment.

I’m not looking for advice on how to deal with this, since it doesn’t bother me now that I understand it was likely a relaxed, in-the-moment thing. Just curious—have others experienced something similar? Does it affect you, or do you just roll with it?