We are relatively new to this lifestyle. It took a lot to get here. As stated in previous text it has enhanced our marriage ten fold. The reason it took a while is we been a traditional couple for 20 years with traditional values. We are discreet and must maintain that so we’ve always been scared. Wife had to build the courage and confidence. She’s still hot at 46 but I guess didn’t truly realize how many guys wanted her.

So here’s where we are baffled and need advice. We’ve met a handful of guys but only did things with two and both ended eerily the same.

To be open. We set expectations early on with every guy we talk to. Set boundaries. Explain what we are looking for. Explain it’s not a hotwife/bull thing, you will not have wife alone and husband will be involved. After all, it’s a MFM we are advertising and looking for. We explain you MUST be single and if we vibe a long term thing is what we are hoping for. We always talk all three in a chat. Sometimes they side chat but wife shows me all of it immediately. Both men agreed and said they like all of that.

Guy 1. Late 30s. We talk for months. Wife and him mostly. A lot of work is put in. We meet for drinks and they hit it off. We all feel comfortable together. We set up a hotel night. Meet prior at a restaurant and then have an amazing night. Afterwards, minimal chat and then no response after discussing a 2nd meeting. Ghost. No explanation why, nothing! He put in literally 5-6 months of work for one night?

Guy 2. Mid twenties. Wife buckles and goes for a guy under thirty because he seemed very mature. Respectful. Chats were awesome. Guy is really cool and respects all the boundaries. Very go with flow and open to whatever. We go for drinks and have a blast all night. Ends with some kissing. 2nd meet is another great night. They have great convos. Lots of flirting. We end night with heavy car play but no sex. He was so into her and spent a lot of time pleasing her. We had sex in front of him and he loved it. After that, normal chat resumes. We set up a hotel night for this coming weekend and literally talk about what we will do. Then ghost. No reponse Gone.

Again we are baffled. I’m especially baffled at guy 2 cause he seemed really genuine and really liked wife a lot. All this is now back to effecting my wife’s confidence and she is second guessing if we should keep doing this. We tell them be up front if we are not for you, tell us. Or tell us if it’s a one night thing you want.

So.. I’m imaging it might be a few things.

1. They lie about there GF/wife, they get my wife and the box is checked and they ghost.

2. Wife has to have a connection so could it be they don’t like how much chatting and stuff there is. Should we cut that off after the initial get to know you and then make it simply about meeting?

3. Do they not like how much I’m involved?

Are we missing something. I’d say maybe they didn’t feel excited or attracted to wife but to be honest both, especially, #2 was so into her physically.

Trying to figure this out so we can keep this going but it’s getting exhausting and becoming a let down.

Any advice will help. Sorry for long rant.