We have been in the LS for a few years now (2019) and have become very confident in our approach to finding a single male to add to our dynamics. We have a preference for not wanting a one night stand and look for potential partners that can be an ongoing thing and actually have fun outside the bedroom.

This has been a learning process over the years.

So our profile on the paid “swinger sites” we have no issues showing our face (to each their own). We have what our boundaries are and what we are ooking for.

But this is more what we look for in someone’s profile and then the steps to vet them out and what flags we look for.

The profiles we avoid:

1. Guys who have little to no effort in their profile. If all it says is “looking for fun”, “seeing what’s out there” or any one line that says absolutely nothing about themselves….easy pass.

2. Guys who have no pics or pics of nothing. We respect privacy but not having anything to go off of is a red flag for us.

3. “Bulls, doms, alphas” or aggressively homophobic. Easy pass.

4. Guys who specifically say “making it all about her”. For us that’s boring. We are all in this together and it’s not just about one person. In fact my wife feels uncomfortable when someone says that. That might be good for some, just not for us.

5. Guys who post the most unappealing low effort profile pics. If we see one more nasty tongue sticking out we are gonna lose it hahah

If the profile gets a like/connect from us then it’s on to the next step in our vetting’s process es and the red flags we look for.

1. If the guy asks “what are we into/looking for” they clearly didn’t read our profile. It says everything we want. If they ask follow up questions instead like “I didn’t understand this part etc etc”, that at least means you browsed it, that’s fine.

2. If they are surprised they are speaking with the husband.

3. They send a dick pic without us asking.

4. They immediately ask when we are meeting or are overly pushy in setting up a meeting after the first message.

5. They don’t show us their face. We aren’t fans of wasting to much time and energy only to find out that there is no attraction.

6. Guys not willing to verify.

7. Guys who just right out the gate ask for nudes.

8. Guys who are clearly not interested in actually holding a conversation.

9. If we don’t know what your fav superhero is in the first few messages, the conversation is boring anyway hehe

10. Guys expecting us to work around their schedule only. (We are two, comprise is preferred)

11. Guys who expect us to only drive out to them. (We believe meeting halfway is fair).

If all vibes are right we create a group chat, exchange a few pleasantries and try to set something up (time/schedule permitting)

This is our method. It’s for our style and what we want/looking for.

This isn’t the end all be all one size fits all. So take it for what it is (guidelines/advice from an experienced couple).

So single guys, just put some effort, be respectful, it goes a long way.