Hey guys, sorry for the very naive post

I'm a 25 year old male who wants to try MDMA. The reason being is to work through some stubborn Complex childhood trauma & PTSD.

Therapy has helped me process some emotional stuff but to be honest I had a really difficult and kind of unforgiving childhood so a lot of my memories are blocked out

I heard about using MDMA actually from a youtuber I've been watching from a long time and how it helped him, and then ended up doing a little more research here and there and saw that it may be good for PTSD

To be completely honest I have no expectations, I just want to try it regardless. I'm not really scared of using it, maybe I'll roll and have a good time or I'll be able to connect with myself easier, hopefully both

Unfortunately I'm kind of a square so idk where to start. but any advice would be appreciated

Thank you guys I hope this post was sincere from my end